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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25162525">Florescence</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beatificallytrash/pseuds/Beatificallytrash'>Beatificallytrash</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Baseball Player Bill Denbrough, Bill Denbrough &amp; Richie Tozier Are Best Friends, Bill and Stan are in love and adorable, Blond Eddie Kaspbrak, Coming of Age, Eddie Kaspbrak &amp; Stanley Uris Are Best Friends, F/M, Football Player Mike Hanlon, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, I go into too much detail about outfits, Jealous Richie Tozier, Losers Club (IT) Friendship, M/M, Mike Hanlon Rights!, Mike/Eddie Friendship, Minor Violence, Panic Attacks, Platonic Beverly Marsh/Richie Tozier, Slow Burn, So many song references, Sonia Kaspbrak's A+ Parenting, The Losers Club Love Each Other (IT), Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Underage Drinking, Underage Smoking, pop culture references, skater!Bill, they dye their hair</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 04:55:51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>30,315</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25162525</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beatificallytrash/pseuds/Beatificallytrash</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The Losers enter their senior year of high school. </p><p>Or, Eddie and Richie are idiots in love who don't want to admit it, they all try to conquer the tribulations of being a teen and discovering who they are, and the Losers just really love each other; chaos ensues.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Bill Denbrough/Stanley Uris, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>46</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. August.03</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The sky was a mix of purple and pink hues as they drove down the long stretch of land, trees passing by quickly as they moved. Eddie let out a deep sigh, absorbing his surroundings and feeling the wind tousle his hair and periwinkle sweater. </p>
<p>“What’s wrong?” Richie grumbled from his place right next to Eddie, his voice being muffled by his head currently being buried in Eddie’s shoulder. </p>
<p>“Nothing, it's just pretty out right now.” </p>
<p>“Not as pretty as you,” he could feel Richie smirking into his shoulder. </p>
<p>“Shut the fuck up,” Eddie replies trying to hide his blush. Richie just chuckles in return. </p>
<p>All of the losers were currently on their way to Mike’s farm. They had planned months prior to do something in celebration for the beginning of senior year. They had chosen Mike’s farm, for it had become their official place for any type of celebration. Which made sense, it was pretty far away from everything, they could be as loud as they wanted, and blast the music Richie would que up on his phone. Mike’s grandfather never bothered them, so that means they could basically do whatever the fuck they wanted. But, the most ‘bad’ thing they ever did was drink in Mike’s barn, and sometimes pass around a blunt that Bev always provided. </p>
<p>So as the day came upon them, just as the sun was about to set Mike had driven through the neighborhoods of Derry in his cherry red pick up truck, picking up each member of The Losers Club and making them pile into the back of the vehicle. With the exception of Ben, who had called shotgun as soon as they organized the meeting. And they took off towards the Hanlon residence. </p>
<p>Eddie looks around at his other friends in the back with him. Over to his right was Bill and Stan who were huddled up in a blanket together whispering to each other quietly. Stan’s face was buried in Bill’s neck, his usually very well-kept blonde curls flying everywhere messing it up a bit. It would sometimes fly into his eyes, which Bill would silently just brush out of the way like it was second nature. In return Stan would press a tiny kiss to his neck, and continue to listen to whatever Bill was saying. </p>
<p>He had been pretty quiet the whole ride, except for a snarky “fuck off” in response to Bev’s teasing them about how ‘sickeningly sweet’ they were being. Bev was sitting on Eddie’s left, her floral maxi dress flowing with the wind and bright red hair matching reminding Eddie of fire. She had an easy smile on her face the majority of the ride, talking absolute shit with Richie.  </p>
<p>Who was spouting his normal bullshit and making stupid vulgar jokes in between each sentence. Which made Bev play along and egg him on, Bill laugh heartily his eyes crinkling. Stan occasionally responding with sassy remarks, and Eddie to roll his eyes. He never was truly annoyed though, he secretly loved the sound of Richie’s voice though he would rather die than admit that out loud. </p>
<p>His back was up against the back window of the truck, so he could faintly hear Mike and Ben going in between talking and singing whatever song was on the radio. The night was peaceful and Eddie closes his eyes thinking he wouldn’t want to be anywhere but here. </p>
<p>When he opens his eyes they are pulling onto the Hanlon’s property. As the truck comes to a stop he looks around at the familiar setting. The older white farm house looks comforting and charming contrasted to the vibrant sky. And the faded blue barn that they spent too many nights in looks inviting with the lights that they had hung up one day lighting it up. </p>
<p>The hatch to the truck swings down, and Bev immediately jumps down and starts running to the barn. Bill and Stan get out next, Bill of course helping Stan down because he is, well Bill. Eddie faintly hears him ask Stan if he wants his hoodie because he looks cold, being protective as ever, which Stan kindly refuses. </p>
<p>Richie obnoxiously jumps up grabbing Eddie’s hands and taking him up with him making the entire truck shake. Eddie’s eyes widen at this not expecting it. </p>
<p>“Be careful idiot,” he scolds. </p>
<p>“Awe I love your cute little nicknames for me. Now lets go Spaghetti. I have some good weed waiting for me!”  Richie replies ecstatically, dragging Eddie off the truck bed. </p>
<p>---</p>
<p>A few hours later things were as chaotic as expected. </p>
<p>Almost as soon as the losers entered the barn the alcohol began to be poured. All seven simultaneously started with a shot of straight vodka in unison to begin the celebration, and it sure didn’t stop there. </p>
<p>Eddie had lost count after his fifth shot, but despite being a usual lightweight he was not as drunk as he thought he would be. Yes, he was currently sitting on the ground with his back against Mike’s legs laughing loudly at everything anybody said. But, where’s the harm in that?  Mike was giggling along with him high out of mind gently braiding little braids into Eddie’s hair. </p>
<p>One thing about Eddie was that when he was drunk he lost all preservation for any boundaries he usually had. A non-drunk Eddie would certainly not be sitting in the dirt and hay and would squawk at the hair braiding. But, he wasn’t throwing his guts up so he saw that as a good thing. </p>
<p>Ben was significantly less drunk than everyone else, which was typical. Being the absolute sweetheart he was kept checking on everyone and making sure they were drinking enough water and not being on the verge of blacking out. When he wasn’t doing that he would change the songs that were playing through the speaker in the barn. And of course staring at Beverly like she was a fucking goddess. Which is not <em>not </em>true. </p>
<p>Stan and Bill were currently sucking each others faces off much to Eddie’s dismay. Stan was surprisingly the most drunk out of everyone. Richie had brought a bottle tequila after breaking into his parent liquor cabinet, and everyone knew Stan was a slut for tequila. So, he kept downing shots, even having a fucking contest with Richie, until Bill had to physically drag him away. </p>
<p>If Eddie lost all preservation when he was drunk, then Stan wasn’t even the same person when intoxicated. Stan would get very wild and brave when drunk, and most evidently <em>horny. </em>That’s why he had been practically glued to Bill’s lap the majority of the night, and was currently kissing him like the world depended on it. </p>
<p>Bill had taken a few shots, and been sipping on a beer most the night. He definitely took one too many hits from the blunts everyone but Eddie and Stan had been smoking. He was flushed from all the attention Stan was giving him, but anyone could see he was loving every second of it. He slightly reminded Eddie of a kid in a fucking candy store. But, he could also see the pure love in his eyes when they would break apart for a few seconds. </p>
<p>Eddie had to turn away at that point, feeling as if he was an intruder on a very intimate moment. </p>
<p>As he did this the song blasting from the speaker changed to <em>Age of Consent</em> by New Order, which made Eddie immediately look to Richie because he loves this song. </p>
<p>Richie lets out a yell of joy and quickly sets down his blunt grabbing Beverly’s hands and pulling her up with him to dance. Beverly yelps at the sudden movement and then lets out a happy laugh and begins jumping around with Richie. </p>
<p>Richie is obviously the most high out of all of them, and is also crossfaded as fuck due to the amount of alcohol he had consumed. It is surprising that he is even able to move at this point. </p>
<p>But, he sure is moving, he’s jumping and spinning around to the beat of song. All while terribly shouting/singing the lyrics along with Bev. </p>
<p>
  <em>I'm not the kind that needs to tell you. Just what you, want me to.</em>
</p>
<p>Richie’s smile is gigantic and unyielding, his happiness reaching his eyes. Eddie thinks for a second he stops breathing at how mesmerizing the scene is. </p>
<p>Richie’s unruly long black hair is flopping around with his movement. His lanky body swaying around and moving with the rhythm of the song, and Eddie can’t help but ogle at the black wife beater he has on after shedding off his baggy hoodie a while ago complaining it ‘was so fucking hot.’ The baggy jeans he has on that are secured with a belt and worn down Doc Martens make Eddie swoon for an unknown reason as well. </p>
<p>The only thing Eddie can think is, <em>fuck he is so beautiful. </em></p>
<p>And he can’t help but remember the first time they met. </p>
<p>---</p>
<p>
  <em>It was a typical summer night in June before the beginning of junior year, and Eddie was fucked. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>He was basically running home, his mom was going to kill him. He had went over to Stan’s house that day, and being a dumbass took nap with his friend. He didn’t think it would be that big of deal seeing this was a normal occurrence for the two friends. But, of course the two over slept. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>As soon as Eddie woke up and saw the darkness outside he panicked and basically threw himself off of Stan’s bed. Which made Stan wake up as well disgruntled, but his demeanor quickly changed at seeing the night sky as well. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Holy shit it’s 10 o’clock I’m sorry Eddie, I can get my mom to call yours tomorrow.” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Thanks Stan I’ll text you tomorrow if I survive, but now I have to sprint home like I’m in a fucking 100 yard dash,” Eddie responds yanking on his white tennis shoes. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Stan let out a snort at this and began singing “Run Boy Run,” making Eddie flip him off on his way out the door. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>When he reached the outside he was met with pouring rain, because of course, the universe hated him. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>So, that was why he was running in the pouring rain, clothes sticking to his skin and breathless from the sudden cardio. Eddie only stopped when he saw a figure in the middle of the road. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>It would’ve been creepy if the person wasn’t currently spinning around with their arms out inviting the rain to fall on them. Eddie’s curiosity made him move closer to the individual.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>When he was standing on the sidewalk across from where the person was in the street. He could see that it was a boy, a very hot boy at that. His hair was messy and wet (and gorgeous). Eddie had a strange desire to run his hands through the curls. His clothes were soaked as well, and Eddie briefly wondered why he was wearing a jean jacket in the middle of summer. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>He was dancing to the music playing from the earbuds he was wearing that Eddie could now clearly see. His face was tilted towards the sky eyes closed, his smile genuine and bright making his jawline prominent. Eddie just knows his face is bright red. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>‘Fuck he’s beautiful, what do I do?’ Eddie repeats in his mind.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> He is completely frozen, unabashedly staring at this boy he had never seen before. What was his life? </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Only a few seconds pass before the boy glances his way seeing Eddie, and then doing a double-take. Then he just stares at him, Eddie feels embarrassed under the scrutiny of his eyes. Slowly a sly smile makes its way onto the boys face, and there’s something indistinguishable in his eyes. He rips the earbuds out of his ears. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Hi. I’m Richie,” the stranger speaks up.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Richie...that’s suiting. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I’m Eddie,” he replies quietly barely to be heard over the pouring rain. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Eddie huh? What a cute name to match a cutie like yourself,” he smirks cockily. Eddie can’t stop himself from rolling his eyes, but there’s still a prominent blush on his face. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I’m not a ‘cutie,’ but thanks...I guess,” he responds awkwardly. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Anytime, cutie.” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Eddie decides to ignore it this one time, assuming that he would see this boy again. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“You’re new in town I’m assuming,” Eddie puts forth. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“What makes you assume that?” Richie chuckles.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Well this is a small town in the middle of fucking nowhere, everyone knows everyone. Also, no person from Derry would be dancing in the rain in the middle of the street at 10:30 at night,” Eddie briefly remembers the time, but decides that this is more important than his mother grounding him for a month. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Richie smiles at the ground for a brief second. “Yeah well you are right there. I’m from California. My family just moved here.” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Why the fuck would you come to Derry after living in California?” Eddie says more harsh than he means. Richie just lets out a laugh. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I honestly have no fucking clue. But, I guess my parents wanted to escape from the hectic Cali life. My parents grew up here too, so they wanted to come back to their roots or whatever the fuck that means,” he explains. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Oh. Makes sense,” Eddie gets awkward again. Richie just nods in return. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Why were you dancing in the rain anyways?” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Because its fun.” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“How is that fun?” Eddie questions confusedly. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Its simple really. Look do you remember being a kid and being so fascinated by the rain?” Richie begins. Eddie just nods. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Well, it’s kind of like that. Dancing is one of the best things you can do, music is fucking awesome. And just losing yourself in song for a while, and dancing like a dumbass is an escape for me. Its freeing. The rain and being in the middle of the street part is just for the dramatics of it all,” he ends with a chuckle. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Eddie notices a smile has been on his face the majority of his explanation. Fuck what is wrong with him, and who the actual fuck is this guy and why is feeling this way about him after just meeting him?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“That’s really...cool,” He looks up at Richie smile still on his face. He thinks he sees the boy flush at that. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Yeah really fucking cool.” He pauses for a second. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Now Eds, how about you come dance with me.” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“First of all, do not call me Eds. And I should really be getting home.” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Come on just one song,” Richie persists. He shakes his head. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Please,” he whines like a kid. Eddie decides that he’s already fucked, so if he wants to dance in the street with a boy that is making him feel things he’s never felt  before, then so be it. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>That’s how he ends up dancing around with a boy he barely knows for way more than one song. Rain still pouring, and smiles blinding in the darkness. There’s songs playing out of Richie’s phone speaker, him only recognizing a few songs from ‘The 1975.’ Eddie thinks its the most fun he’s had in a long time. And Richie is still so fucking beautiful. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>‘It’s just you and I tonight. Why don’t you figure my heart out’</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Eddie remembers in that moment feeling breathless and exhilarated, and most importantly alive.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>When they departed that night Eddie felt like they had an unbreakable connection, and he thinks Richie maybe felt that too. They exchanged numbers and he invited him to hang out with the other losers when they met up again. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>That night when he got home his mom was asleep on her chair, and he knew he had it coming in the morning. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>But, he wouldn’t trade the world for that night. Which still is true to present day. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>---</em>
</p>
<p>Eddie is shaken out of his thoughts as Richie yanks him up from his place on the ground trying to get him to dance with him. He motions for all of the others to join. Everyone is too out of it to protest. </p>
<p>So, they all dance their hearts out to the 80s song, and then the various other songs after that. Eddie feels like he’s <em>home. </em>His heart swells with love for his friends, and his hands grow sweaty because Richie does not let go of them the whole time. </p>
<p>---</p>
<p>They dance until they're too exhausted to continue and all slump down into a pile on the dirt floor. </p>
<p>Stan is of course sitting in between Bill’s legs. Bev and Ben are cuddled up together. Mike has his arm around Eddie making him feel the softness of his orange striped shirt. Richie is the only one not holding onto anybody, he is currently laying down on his back, chest heaving up and down. </p>
<p>They all have a tired smile plastered on their faces. Eddie loved moments like this, coming down from a happy moment that he would never forget. They are all silent, but it is comfortable and it stays like that for a solid five minutes. </p>
<p>Of course Richie has to be the one to ruin it, like always when he sits up and exclaims, “You know what I am so fucking tired of?” </p>
<p>Everyone raises their eyebrow at his sudden question. </p>
<p>“What are you tired of Richie?” Bev chuckles humoring whatever shit is about to come out of his mouth.</p>
<p>“I’m tired of giving a fuck.” </p>
<p>“When have you ever gave a single fuck?” Bill questions. </p>
<p>“It may seem like I don’t, but I do. More than you know. There are so many things I wanna do everyday, especially at school, but don’t because Derry is basically a low budget version of Hell.” </p>
<p>The atmosphere turns a little more serious, seeing that Richie seems genuinely distressed by this. Richie is never distressed by anything. </p>
<p>“I feel that,” Mike speaks up from above Eddie. </p>
<p>“Me too,” Stan adds quietly looking almost scared, Bill presses a quick kiss to his head. </p>
<p>Everyone else nods in agreement. </p>
<p>“Exactly! That’s what I’m saying too is that I know all of you hide who you are from everyone, and I’m honestly tired of it. You all are like the best people I have ever met, and I want other people to notice that,” Richie rants. It is probably one of the most heartfelt things he has ever said, and Eddie is beginning to question what the fuck was in that weed? </p>
<p>“How exactly could we do that?” Ben questions gently. </p>
<p>“I don’t know. Maybe by doing some crazy shit. Something that will make people see us. Then we could all do things we have always wanted to do that show who we are. Not giving a single fuck about what anyone has to say.  And we’ll support each other the entire time like always.” </p>
<p>Eddie can see the wheels turning in everyone’s head, contemplating what he said. Eddie thinks what he’s suggesting is scary, but he’s willing to do it for Richie, and his friends. The thing about Richie is that he makes everyone in the group brave.</p>
<p>There’s just something about him that was so gravitating. Him joining the group was like a reset for everyone. Every loser just clicked with Richie personally, and he had the tendency of convincing them all to do stupid shit. They all had a distinct connection with him, that’s just the person he was. It is an unspoken fact that Richie Tozier was the best thing that happened to The Losers Club in a long time. </p>
<p>It was definitely a fact for Eddie, no wonder he was hopelessly in <em>love </em>with him. </p>
<p>Eddie thinks anyone could see that, he wasn’t exactly hiding it. But, Richie was obviously still oblivious to this. </p>
<p>“I’m down,” Bill speaks up first of course, he didn’t get the title ‘Brave Bill’ for nothing. Also, it is no secret that Bill and Richie consider themselves best friends. Richie probably spent the most time with Bill out of all the losers, with the exception of himself.</p>
<p>“Obviously I’m in. But only because you were so sweet about it,” Bev teases, but still presses a dramatic kiss to his cheek. Making Richie actually fucking giggle as she pulls away. </p>
<p>“You know I’m down and Bev is right since when are you such a sap Tozier?” Mike chuckles. </p>
<p>“What can I say you guys have changed me, you all are very bad influences on me,” Richie jokes. Making all of them roll their eyes. </p>
<p>“I think it would be a good thing for us to do,” Ben concludes. Bev hugs him tighter knowing that it is hard for Ben to show himself to the public, he usually prefers to stay unnoticed. </p>
<p>“Ugh, do I really have a choice?” Stan feigns annoyance, but all of them can see through the facade knowing that he is anxious about it, but Eddie can see that he does want to. </p>
<p>They all then are staring at Eddie for his response. </p>
<p>“So Eds what do you say?” Richie questions, looking into his eyes earnestly. <em>Fuck, this man is his weakness and it is officially becoming a problem. </em></p>
<p>Eddie finally lets out a sigh, “Yeah I’ll do it you fuckers.” </p>
<p>They all cheer, deciding that it's the right time to all tackle him into a hug. All of them surround him holding onto to each other, smothering him. </p>
<p>“I hate you all,” he grumbles out. </p>
<p>“We love you too,” they all basically say in unison and Richie and Bev start smacking disgusting kisses all over his face. He squawks pushing them a way, face still reddening from the attention. </p>
<p>They all then move off of each other and sit back down but in closer proximity to one another this time. Richie has decided to lay his head on Eddie’s lap now. </p>
<p>“So what should the first ‘crazy’ thing we do be?” Bill questions. </p>
<p>Beverly then suddenly gasps, making all of them look at her. </p>
<p>“Holy fuck, we should all dye our hair!” she practically yells.</p>
<p>Stan and his own eyes widen almost comically. </p>
<p>There’s a “Sick” heard from Bill. A “I’m fucking down” from Mike. And a much louder than the rest “Fuck yeah!” from Richie. </p>
<p>“Are you actually insane, my mom would literally send me to a fucking mental hospital after going into actual cardiac arrest,” he retorts harshly. </p>
<p>“Yeah I don’t think my parents would exactly agree with their Jewish son going into a synagogue with bright ass pink hair,” Stan splutters out. </p>
<p>“Come on, didn’t we just agree we were going to stop giving a fuck,” Richie comments. </p>
<p>“Yeah you don’t have to dye it an insane color, but I think you would look very beautiful with pink hair Stanny,” Bev smirks, making Stan flip her off. </p>
<p>“I’m sure if you talk to your parents they’ll understand Stan. Eddie you’re mom will be mad but she’ll get over it eventually,” Ben tries to soothe them. </p>
<p>“You’ll be fine,” Richie says in a reassuring voice, and reaches up to smooth away the worry lines that were etched into Eddie’s forehead. <em>He really is my weakness, and it is definitely dangerous </em>Eddie thinks. </p>
<p>“You all are going to get me killed one day,” he huffs out in compliance. They all chuckle at him. </p>
<p>“Now when are we doing this?” Bill asks. </p>
<p>“Well I’m obviously doing all the dying so pick your hair color, and I have plenty of bleach. We should do this like Wednesday, trust me you do not wanna do this the day before school,” Bev explains. </p>
<p>“Okay Bev, we love a hairdresser,” Mike laughs out. </p>
<p>“You know it baby,” Bev winks, blowing a kiss to Mike. Mike dramatically catches it and holds it to his chest. </p>
<p>“Okay Wednesday were doing this shit, no backing out!” Richie exclaims. </p>
<p>“Lucky us,” Stan intones. “Now can we please go inside and go the fuck to sleep, I think I’m about ready to pass out.” </p>
<p>Everyone agrees and they unplug the lights and start heading in, knowing they’ll pick everything up in the morning. </p>
<p>Eddie and Richie stay farther behind the rest. He faintly hears Stan groan out a, “I hate tequila,” Bill responds with a casual, “No you don’t” before the door to the house closes. Leaving the two alone. </p>
<p>“You excited for Wednesday Eds? Because I sure am,” Richie says. </p>
<p>“Eh. I don’t really like you guys that much, I dread every time I see you,” Eddie responds with no seriousness in his voice, that statement is truthfully one of the biggest lies he’s ever told. </p>
<p>“Well that’s too bad isn’t it? That you don’t have a choice,” Richie quips as he moves in front of Eddie halting the two. He then places his hands on both of Eddie’s arms holding him there. <em>Fuck, the ungodly things he has thought about those hands.</em> Richie makes full on eye contact with him and Eddie is pretty sure he gulps. </p>
<p>“I guess I don’t,” he replies sheepishly. </p>
<p>“I’m proud of you though Eds,” Richie smiles and then presses a quick kiss to his lips. <em>Because oh yeah that’s something they do sometimes.</em></p>
<p>They had kissed a handful of times, but it was never fueled with passion. It was more something that just happened in the moment, usually when Richie was drunk or high, or <em>both</em>. Eddie supposed it was his way of saying he cared about him, because they never talked about it the next day. Therefore, it probably wasn’t romantic on Richie’s end. Eddie was not mad about it, he desired more, but fuck if it didn’t mess with his feelings for the boy. It usually just left him more confused about how Richie truly felt about him. </p>
<p>“Thanks Rich,” he responds as composed as he can. Richie just smiles another breathtaking smile and drags Eddie in the house by his hand. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. August.05</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The Losers dye their hair.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi !<br/>So this was one my favorite chapters I wrote. I really wanted to show more losers friendship. I hope you enjoy :)</p>
<p>Playlist:<a href="https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1UUqrvrXyIjiBKp6BGbxrh?si=_4NhdTdqRJGbQ_5Pg1PjEA">Florescence</a></p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Holy shit I can’t do this,” Stan cries. </p>
<p>It was Wednesday and all the losers were piled into Bev’s bathroom at her aunt’s house. They all got their different colors and were about to start dying. Bev decided to start with Stan because he already had naturally blonde hair so she didn’t need to really bleach it. Stan had ended up actually picking pink with much convincing from his boyfriend and the rest of the other losers. </p>
<p> But, as soon as Bev was about to put the dye in his hair, he freaked and stormed out of the bathroom. Bill  started walking to follow him out, but Eddie stopped him motioning that he got it. </p>
<p>Stan was sitting in the hallway when he walked out. </p>
<p>“Okay what’s up?” </p>
<p>“I’m nervous Eddie, my parents are going to freak. It took so long for them to really accept Bill and I, and I guess I just don’t want to risk messing that up,” Stan responds in a quiet voice. Eddie was one of the only people he opened up to so readily besides Bill of course. They had always been close, best friends since they were in first grade. </p>
<p>“Stan?” Eddie starts gently kneeling down in front of him and taking his hand. “Do you want to do this? Like not even thinking about your parents do you want this for yourself?” </p>
<p>Stan stayed quiet for a little pondering this. “Yeah I do,” he finally declares. </p>
<p>“Then I say fuck your parents honestly. And this is coming from me! The person whose mom is going to have a fucking aneurysm because of this,” he chuckles, making Stan laugh as well. </p>
<p>“I know there are so many other things you want to do other than this, this is just a start,” Eddie encourages. </p>
<p>“I’m not as brave as you Eddie,” he whispers looking down again. This struck Eddie, he had never considered himself a brave person, like ever. But, it made him smile. </p>
<p>“Then we’ll be brave together,” he smiles reassuringly at him. Stan smiles back, tightening his grip on his hand. </p>
<p>“Together,” he repeats, and then they get up hand in hand and walk back into the bathroom being met with the cheers of their friends. </p>
<p>“Okay now that Stan is done being his drama queen self, let's do this shit!” Bev exclaims, picking up the dye brush again. </p>
<p>“Um fuck you,” Stan glares. </p>
<p>“Aw I’m sorry did I hurt your feelings baby,” Bev pouts and quickly kisses Stan’s forehead, before returning to the task at hand. Stan just grumbles out something unknown and continues to glare. </p>
<p>Then she begins slathering the bright pink dye into his hair, making Stan’s eyes widen. Everyone’s smiles grow watching intently with fascination, it was completely silent. </p>
<p>“Can you guys stop staring at me like that it’s stressing me out. And for the love of god put on some fucking music and start talking it’s too quiet,” Bev demands. </p>
<p>“As you wish princess. Who knew Bev got bitchy when it came to hair,” Richie blurts out going to turn on his playlist. </p>
<p>“Shut the fuck up Rich, or else I might just ‘accidentally’ mess up that mop of yours,” Bev says threateningly still focusing on Stan’s head. </p>
<p>“Oh I’m so scared,” Richie jokes sarcastically. Bev just flips him off. </p>
<p>Eddie smacks him on the chest telling him to leave her alone. Richie puts his hands up in defense and then hits start on his playlist. <em>Boys Don’t Cry </em>by The Cure begins to fill the cramped bathroom. Richie immediately looked at Bill, they both loved the band and he supposed the song had a special meaning to them. </p>
<p>Bill tilts his head back in a laugh, and Richie walks over to him to grab his hand and twirl him around which was ridiculous to watch since Bill was just as tall as Richie. It was clumsy and Bill was laughing harder now. They begin basically yelling the lyrics into each other's faces having their own little moment. </p>
<p>
  <em>I tried to laugh about it. Cover it all up with lies. I tried to laugh about it. Hiding the tears in my eyes. 'Cause boys don't cry.</em>
</p>
<p>“Hey Tozier, stop trying to steal my boyfriend!” Stan shouts above the music. </p>
<p>“You jealous Stan the Man? And I don’t know if I can promise that I mean I don’t think I can resist those dreamy blue eyes and broad shoulders any longer,” Richie jokingly moans out biting his lip. At this point Bill was turning bright red with how hard he was laughing. </p>
<p>“Ew you're disgusting,” Stan calls out, scrunching his nose. Half of his hair was covered in dye at this point. Ben and himself were just shaking their heads laughing slightly, Mike’s infectious laughter could be heard as well. </p>
<p>“Babe calm down, trust me I am not the one Richie wants,” Bill hiccups out through laughter. </p>
<p>“Who is it then?” Bev chimes in with a sly smile like she knew something the others didn’t, and she even quickly glances at Eddie through the mirror in the bathroom before going back to work. </p>
<p>“Nobody!” Richie replies frantically covering Bill’s mouth. Then he shrieks pulling his hand away saying that Bill licked him, making everybody start chastising Bill for being gross. But, Eddie was just frowning, completely still and silent.</p>
<p>
  <em> What the fuck was that supposed to mean? Richie had his eye on someone, since when? And why did Bev look at him like that? There’s no way it could be him right? Right? </em>
</p>
<p>Mike interrupts his thoughts by picking him up and pulling him into a comforting hug. Eddie yelps struggling against the grip. But, eventually decides to relax and accept the embrace. </p>
<p>“You’re starting to overthink, don’t worry about it,” Mike whispers into his ear.</p>
<p> He understood it now. Mike knew about Eddie’s feelings towards Richie. He was the first person Eddie told. </p>
<p>
  <em>They had been at Mike’s farm on a sunny September day, they were in his garden looking at the sunflowers that had grown taller than both of them when he blurted it out. Mike didn’t even bat an eye, and responded with a simple, “I’ve been knew.” “Was it that obvious?” He had replied. “Yes, but not to Richie.” It was quiet for a minute before he choked out a scared, “I don’t know what to do anymore, I’m falling for him more everyday and I want it to stop, but it never does.” Mike then had pulled Eddie into a tight embrace much like the one he was in right now. And Eddie remembered sobbing into Mike’s worn down overalls for a long time, and Mike never loosened his grip. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I know you’re scared Eddie, but you’re the bravest person I know. Falling for him is not something you can control and it's not a bad thing. It’s amazing. I know it’s hard right now, but I have a good feeling everything will work itself out eventually.” </em>
</p>
<p>Eddie lived by those words everyday since then, and from that point on Mike had become his comfort. Some people had comfort food, or comfort movies, well Mike was that for him. He would look at the farm boy, his beautiful dark skin glowing, and grin equaling sunshine itself and Eddie automatically felt at ease. </p>
<p>He realized they were still hugging when he saw a flash out of his peripheral. He looks and sees it's Ben who had taken a photo with his mint green Polaroid he carried everywhere. Ben was always taking pictures, he was the type to see beauty in the most mundane things and always knew the perfect moment to capture an image. Ben smiles warmly at Eddie looking gentle as always. </p>
<p>Mike then sets him down finally, and looks into his eyes with his own golden ones and smiles warmly. <em>Yep, that was the smile, the one that always brought him back to Earth. </em></p>
<p>Eddie just looks back, and says a sincere “Thank you.” </p>
<p>“Always.”</p>
<p>They must’ve been hugging for a while, because when he looked back at Stan his head was almost all covered. A few more strokes of the brush and Beverly cries out a, “I’m done, Stanny your hair officially looks like delicious cotton candy!” </p>
<p>Stan looks in the mirror a few seconds gaping at his appearance, it still needed to stay in the hair a while and it was wet and sticking up in different places. But, that didn’t stop a huge beaming smile from erupting on Stan’s face. The sight was honestly beautiful, the losers barely ever saw Stan smile like that, due to his normal nonchalant and sassy attitude. Eddie briefly thinks about how <em>pretty </em>Stan is, but he has always known that. Ben of course snaps another picture of the moment. </p>
<p>“You look gorgeous baby,” Bill smiles looking a little awestruck, then leans down to kiss his cheek.</p>
<p>All the others start praising him as well. Then Richie being the person he is adds, “Oh my god, you look like lava girl!” </p>
<p>“Beep beep asshole.” Stan’s smile is replaced with a glare. </p>
<p>“What? She’s hot, that's a compliment. You look HOT Staniel.”</p>
<p>“Hell yeah he does!” Mike cheers loudly. Everyone laughs in agreement, Stan goes back to smiling shyly, and Bill whispers something into his ear making him turn almost as pink as his hair. Eddie doesn’t even want to know what he said. Bev places a shower cap on his head to let the hair sit, and Richie makes fun of him for it until Stan is threatening that he’ll ‘beat his ass.’ </p>
<p>“Okay now the rest of you losers need your hair bleached,” Bev calls out.</p>
<p>“Eddie baby you’re first since you’re just going full-on blond.” She grabs his arm pulling him over, Eddie just nods, he can admit he’s nervous but still really excited. He finds a little too much pleasure in rebelling against his overprotective mother. </p>
<p>Bev takes only a few minutes to prepare the bleach and then she starts applying the mixture to his hair. The smell is as pungent as expected, and Eddie gets scared for a second wondering if this could make his hair fall out, but he trusts Bev. </p>
<p>“You are going to look so fucking good Eddie, I swear,” Bev says to him her tone excited. </p>
<p>“It better or I’m going to be very mad and blame it on all of you,” he responds half joking. </p>
<p>“Oh trust me it will, and you’re going to love it. I think a certain someone will as well,” Bev smirks. Eddie flushes and elbows her.  </p>
<p>He hears <em>Pynk </em>by Janelle Monae start to play, and smiles at Mike getting excited by the poppy song. He watches through the mirror as the losers continue to mess around. Mike even throws Richie over his shoulder and runs into the hallway for some unknown reason. They were all being loud as always, laughter probably being heard throughout the whole house. Ben is snapping a lot of pictures with his phone now.</p>
<p>He sees one being taken of Bill and Stan, Bill’s arm thrown around Stan’s shoulder sticking his tongue out, and Stan looking completely over everything straight-faced but hilarious due to the shower cap on his head. He also sees him take one of Richie and Mike, Richie still over Mike’s shoulder. The first one seems to be candid, both of them in the middle of laughing, then the other ones after that with both of them making different silly faces. He takes one of him and Bev too, he flips off the camera and Bev smiles widely gloved hand still in his hair. </p>
<p>These shenanigans continue until Bev is done applying the bleach to his hair. She sends him away to another part of the bathroom to let it sit. </p>
<p>“Okay Bill stop being a good boyfriend and get your ass over here,” Bev commands. “Of course your majesty.” Bill saunters over to her. </p>
<p>“Watch it mister, don’t get sassy with me,” she sticks out her finger in a reprimanding way, and then goes to snatch the light blue beanie off of his head. Bill sticks his tongue out at her. In return Bev ruffles his hair, messing it up more from being in the beanie, and Bill pokes her sides making her squeal.</p>
<p>He briefly glances at Stan, who seems to grimace a little but quickly wipes the look off his face and begins a conversation with Ben. Eddie gets it, the sight must’ve brought back some bad memories for him. Bev and Bill’s relationship was interesting. They had dated for over a year back in middle school before Bill realized that he and Stan were basically fucking soulmates. The breakup was mutual and Bev was so supportive as always, and they still remained extremely close after, sometimes even joking about their dating past.  </p>
<p>Stan had always liked Bill, he remembered vaguely being in third grade sitting on the swing set with Stan at recess when he told him he had a crush on the boy. Eddie could also never forget the countless nights holding a fourteen-year-old Stan as he cried about how much he loved Bill, and how hard it was to see him with someone else knowing that the boy didn’t love him back. Eddie knew it was just a childish middle school relationship at the time, and he wanted to be happy for his two friends then, but he couldn’t after firsthand experiencing how much pain it caused his best friend. Eddie also always knew that Stan and Bill belonged together, he always saw it and he was often jealous of the connection they had. Looking back he thinks that time was what started Stan’s struggle with depression, but Eddie refused to think about freshman year right now, he couldn’t it was almost torture to.</p>
<p>Eddie must’ve been spacing out for a while, because Richie gets in his face and drawls out, “Hello, Earth to Spegeds.” </p>
<p>“Shut up dipshit,” he barks at him. </p>
<p>“Yay you’re back we lost you there for a minute. Let me guess you were daydreaming about me looking sexy as always,” he teases making Eddie punch his chest. He punched him mostly because he was being annoying, but also out of anger that it was something he actually did way too much.</p>
<p>“Oww, you know for such a small person you can hit pretty hard,” Richie comments rubbing his chest. </p>
<p>“Only for you,” Eddie says in a sweet tone. Richie smiles and winks in return, and he finds that way more hot than he should. Eddie decides Richie looks good today, well he looks good everyday to him, but especially today. He’s wearing a plum sweater that’s baggy on his lanky form, paired with black ripped jeans. He has on a silver chain and put in his nose ring, which he typically leaves out. He has on his glasses today that he rarely wears because of his contacts, and half of his hair is messily tied back letting the rest stay out and little pieces frame his face. </p>
<p>“Hey this song is dedicated to you,” Richie then says as he plays <em>Sunflower Vol. 6 </em>by Harry Styles. Eddie briefly remembers listening to the album with him one night, laughing when Richie stated that he would ‘most definitely suck Harry Styles’ dick if he had the chance.’ Which Eddie agreed. </p>
<p>
  <em>My sunflower, I couldn’t want you anymore. </em>
</p>
<p>“I don’t get it.” Eddie blushes, he knows it’s a love song but he doesn’t understand why this song. </p>
<p>“Because you’re my sunflower!” Richie beams. </p>
<p>“Oh my god I hate you,” Eddie barks out laugh covering his face with his hands, blush deepening. </p>
<p>“What? You look so cute today in your little yellow shirt and overalls!” Richie insists. Eddie peaks through his fingers searching his face for any bullshitting. Richie looks genuine and his eyes are lit up. </p>
<p>“See look at you even right now, cute cute cute!” Richie laughs pulling his hands away from his face and slightly pinching his cheeks until Eddie pushes him away. </p>
<p>“You are so fucking annoying.”</p>
<p>“I love you too.”</p>
<p>Eddie never gets tired of hearing those words, it lets him imagine what it would be like if Richie meant it in not such a platonic way. He glances over Richie’s shoulder at Ben, Mike, and Stan who all are looking at him with a knowing smirk. Mike mouths out a ‘Just kiss already,’ and Eddie shoots them all a glare before Richie adds, “But I love your mom more.” </p>
<p>Eddie punches him once again. </p>
<p>---</p>
<p> Many hours passed and everybody had their hair dyed. Stan had already washed the pink dye out of his hair since he was the first one. Eddie had to admit Stan looked beautiful, the pink hair really complementing his pale skin. After the bleach was washed out, Bev put toner in his hair so the yellow would be lifted, making his hair more platinum. That had occurred a while ago and his newly changed hair was still slightly damp. Eddie thought he looked really good actually, and it definitely helped his confidence when Stan whispered in his ear that Richie was ogling at him. Which Eddie saw a little bit of the staring before Bill elbowed him chuckling. </p>
<p>Eddie was currently helping Bev wash the dye out of Ben’s hair, he was the last one out of all of them. The rest of the losers were all collectively freaking out about their new look. It made sense all of their hair really suited them and it looked amazing on everybody. He glanced back at them who were all dancing around the tiny bathroom to<em> What I Like About You</em> by The Romantics. </p>
<p>
  <em>What I like about you. You really know how to dance. When you go up, down, jump around. Think about true romance.</em>
</p>
<p>Bill dyed his hair a blue color. Mike said it reminded him of blueberries. Ben said he thought of the sky and ocean looking at it, being as poetic as ever. Eddie thought it matched his eyes. And Richie made the comment that, “You and Stan look like fucking Team Rocket from Pokémon.” Which Eddie had to admit was funny, even getting a laugh out of Stan. </p>
<p>Mike dyed his typical buzz cut hair a green color. He told everyone that he was channeling his inner Frank Ocean when they asked about his color choice.  He obviously ended up looking so fucking cool. He’s pretty sure Mike could pull anything off, Eddie just knows he could be a model. Richie praises him by dramatically kissing Mike’s cheek and saying that he should be a “sexy joker for Halloween.” </p>
<p>Richie had got red highlights in his hair. Richie claimed that he would’ve dyed his head the colors of the Bi flag so everyone knew his sexuality from the start. But, Bev refused saying she would not aid in the total damaging of his beautiful black curls. Honestly Eddie was glad he went with the red, he looked kind of...badass and so incredibly hot. He had to physically stop himself from constantly staring at the boy the rest of the day. But, he definitely checked the boy out when he was sure he wasn’t looking. Stan had been teasing him relentlessly, saying things like, “You two are so openly thirsting over each other that I think I’m gonna hurl.” “Oh shut the fuck up like you and Bill don’t basically eye fuck on a daily basis,” he had snapped back. “But the difference is that we’re actually together.”</p>
<p>“You know just because you get new hair doesn’t give the right to be an asshole,” Eddie scowled. Stan just maniacally laughed.</p>
<p>Bev ended up dying the two front pieces of her hair blond like she had been seeing on social media. She said that she loved her natural ginger hair too much to ever completely dye it. Which Eddie gets, it had become a staple of hers. Everyone could spot Bev anywhere because of her fiery hair, Richie also added he couldn’t call her half of the nicknames he did if she dyed it too. </p>
<p>Ben’s hair which was just finished being washed had become a pretty lilac color. The color was calming and elegant looking, which just matched Ben. Eddie thinks he’s going to look effortlessly artsy with his pastel colored hair and vintage camera dangling from his neck, his journal of poems in tow. Ben had a nature about him that made everyone want to just protect him, which the losers always did. For a time sophomore year Ben was the most bullied out of all of them for his chubbier physique. But, that was quickly stopped after the others collectively stopped giving a fuck and would easily stand up to these bullies. Mike and Bill would often get in fights for doing just that, even Bev once too, and they always won. Ben had toned up quite a bit since then as well, but he could clearly see the remaining insecurity he had, which made Eddie want nothing more than to just always hug the boy.</p>
<p>After they finished they all took a few pictures in the mirror of the bathroom before going to sit in her living room. They had all been at Beverly’s since 11 that morning and it was nearing 6:00 now. </p>
<p>Mike was the first to say he was leaving because he had to get up early tomorrow, and he had to drop Ben off at home. He went around giving them all his signature warm and tight hugs, thanking Beverly for doing all of this. Ben said bye to everyone as well, giving Bev a kiss on the cheek before exiting with Mike. </p>
<p>Stan and Bill were the next to leave. They said they’re goodbyes and headed out the door hand in hand pink and blue hair contrasting each other perfectly.</p>
<p>After another ten minutes of casual chatting with Beverly who was slumped in the love seat looking exhausted from the day. Richie looked at Eddie and said, “C’mon Eds I’ll walk you home.” </p>
<p>Eddie didn’t live that far from Bev so he had walked there that morning, it was sunny and breezy and Eddie had plugged in his earbuds and let himself soak in the sun. He just nodded in return and they both went over to give Bev a kiss on the head thanking her for today, and she just gave them a easy warm smile and told them to ‘get the fuck out of my house’ sweetly. </p>
<p>—-</p>
<p>Richie and him walk in silence down the empty street, the street lamps lighting their way. Eddie looks up seeing the stars scattered in the dark abyss of the sky, the moon was a bright crescent today. The air smelled crisp and the coolness of the night made him feel refreshed. He could hear Richie’s thick boots clomping against the concrete, he looks over to him seeing that Richie is already looking back at him. He was practically glowing under the streetlights, casting shadows in just the right places. </p>
<p>“The blond looks really beautiful on you Eddie,” Richie breathes out into the silent night, eyes filled with something Eddie couldn’t comprehend. </p>
<p>His eyes widen, blush erupting over his features. He felt like he was dreaming, it wasn’t everyday that the boy he was in love with called him <em>beautiful</em>, and actually meant it. He internally hated himself for becoming one of ‘those people.’ The ones who would get so intertwined and wrapped up the person they liked, that they meant <em>everything </em>to them. But, he couldn’t help but hold on to every little thing Richie did, falling in deeper every minute. Eddie really hated himself for it. </p>
<p>“Thank you Rich, you look...above average.” <em>Above average? What the fuck Eddie.</em> </p>
<p>Richie lets out a loud cackle. “Thanks Eds really appreciate knowing that I am above average.” </p>
<p>“Would you quiet down asshole,” Eddie chides. “And I guess you look...hot,” he murmurs out, cheeks growing red. Richie’s mouth falls open in disbelief, and it slowly transforms into a smug smirk. </p>
<p>“Wow I cannot believe the Eddie Spaghetti Kaspbrak just called me hot!” He yells out like it was some big announcement ignoring Eddie’s plea to not be so loud. </p>
<p>“Yeah well don’t get used to it, I am never saying anything like that again,” he scrunches his nose up in frustration crossing his arms to his chest.</p>
<p>“Oh come on Eds I’m just fucking with you, thank you I’m serious,” he responds stepping closer to him brown eyes boring into his own. He could see Richie’s freckles this close, them becoming more abundant due to the many sunny days spent at the quarry that summer. His glasses had slipped down his nose bridge and Eddie desperately wants to reach up to fix them. His resolve breaks like it always did for the boy, and he rolls his eyes, a smile spreading across his face. A smile lights up on Richie’s face as well. The two were inches apart, so close Eddie could simply go up on his tiptoes to reach his lips, but of course he doesn’t he just stays where he is. Richie does the same. They probably looked like maniacs, standing in the middle of the street smiling at each other lost in one another’s eyes, but Eddie didn’t care he learned to hold onto any moment like this with Richie. </p>
<p>Richie then reaches his arms out to wrap around Eddie’s waist, and Eddie buries his head in the boy’s chest. Eddie wasn’t sure why exactly they were hugging, but he felt amazing there with his cheek squished against Richie’s chest, his ear being close to where his heart would be, inhaling his scent. He couldn’t help but feel like he <em>belonged </em>there. Richie rests his chin on the shorter boys head, and they stay like that for who knows how long. </p>
<p>When they eventually broke apart they smile at each other, laughing quietly. They finish walking the rest of the way to Eddie’s home, shoulders brushing into each other the whole time. They stop in front of the Kaspbrak residence. </p>
<p>“Well Spaghetti it's been a pleasure as always, I’ll see your cute self on Monday,” he says giddily. </p>
<p>“I’ll see you Trashmouth.”</p>
<p>Richie gives a simple parting smile before brushing some of Eddie’s now blond hair off his forehead, and then turns around and starts walking away. He turns around once more, giving him a fleeting wink before putting in his head phones and disappearing down the street.  </p>
<p>Eddie quietly unlocks his front door, sneaking into the living room where his mom is asleep on her chair as always. He sighs and places a crocheted blanket on his mother before heading upstairs to his room. </p>
<p>He quickly undresses out of his overalls and yellow striped shirt. Pulling on his red sleeping shorts and over-sized pink top that passes the shorts. He then flops onto his bed with a content and tired sigh, and grabs his phone to look at any messages he received. He sees a lot from the losers group chat and clicks on the notification. </p>
<p>He sees Ben sent the pictures he took today to the group chat, which includes an adorable selfie of him with his purple hair. Eddie saves all of them to his camera roll. </p>
<p>
  <em>Benny: I had so much fun today. Love you guys!</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Mikey: AWE BEN UR SUCH A SOFTIE ILY2 &lt;3</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Bill: Those pics are sick Ben! I feel like I look p cool with my new hair ;)</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Bev: Bill humble yourself ur hair is the color of a troll doll</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Bev: ALSO MY BOYFRIEND IS THE CUTEST &lt;3 &lt;3 &lt;3</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Stanny: Beverly, you are correct on both of those texts. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Benny: thx love &lt;3</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Mikey: HAHAHAHAHA A TROLL </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Bill: Fuck you marsh.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Bill: Also babe I don’t know why ur talking ur hair could resemble a troll too </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Bev: that is true, sorry Stan :(</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Trashmouth &lt;3: LMAOOO bevvy gets off on a good one !!!!!</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Mikey: We stan a troll couple </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Benny: I think it's kind of cute :)</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Trashmouth &lt;3: also WE LOOK SO FUCKING SEXY IN THOSE PICS !!!!</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Trashmouth &lt;3: especially because of me ;) ;) ;) </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>                                                                                                                                 Eddie: Now that’s a lie. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Trashmouth &lt;3: EDDIE SPAGHETTI I MISS YOU ALREADY</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>                                                                                                      Eddie: You literally just saw me dipshit       </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Stanny: I hate all of you. Also, I’m trying to go to sleep. So shut up. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Stanny: Especially you two I already had to deal with enough of your flirting today. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Mikey: tea</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Bill: TRUUU</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Bev: ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Benny: He’s not wrong. Sorry guys. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Trashmouth: um why are we getting attacked ????? </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>                                                                                                                       Eddie: *middle finger emojis*</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Stanny: GO TO SLEEP. Goodnight. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Benny: Goodnight everyone, sweet dreams. Can’t wait for Monday &lt;3</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Mikey: goodnight you gorgeous people *kissy emoji*</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Bev: goodnight bb’s &lt;3</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Bill: Gn guys ! </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Trashmouth: GOODNIGHT EVEN THOUGH ITS STILL EARLY YOU PUSSYS </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>                                                                                                                                         Eddie: gn. </em>
</p>
<p>Eddie rolls his eyes at his friends and powers off his phone. He looks over to his bedside clock, Richie was right it was still early, but the day had been tiring and he feels his eyes start to droop. </p>
<p>So, he turns off his lamp, and closes his eyes letting himself drift off to sleep. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Have a nice day!</p>
<p>Tumblr: @beatificallytrash</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. August.10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>First day of senior year. Things happen...</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I don't really know how to feel about this chapter. But, I hope you enjoy. </p><p>Playlist: <a href="https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1UUqrvrXyIjiBKp6BGbxrh?si=-cJu7C82SZGinpEFx4aNzg">Florescence</a></p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Eddie shuffles down the stairs quickly, seeing his mother standing in the kitchen. It was the first day of school and he had woken up late. The previous night he didn’t fall asleep until late due to the multitude of thoughts floating around in his head. He still couldn’t believe that he was officially a senior, he would be 18 soon. He would be an adult and he could finally do whatever he wanted, no matter what his mom said. He also couldn’t stop thinking about what crazy things the losers were going to do this year thanks to Richie’s little pact of “not giving a fuck.” </p><p>So, when he woke up and saw the time he had to rush to get ready. Brushing his teeth and fixing his hair quickly, and then practically throwing on his clothes he picked with the help of the losers. They had gone to the thrift store a few weeks prior, Bev picked clothing pieces for each member. He ended up wearing some cream colored jeans (which he had to roll up due to the length), paired with a pastel pink baggy shirt. At that point Richie had pulled up outside his house in his vintage car, engine roaring loudly and began honking much to Eddie’s dismay. He opted for his white tennis shoes that he wore all the time and ran grabbing his yellow backpack on the way out. </p><p>“Eddiebear who’s outside and why are they making such a ruckus?” his mother furrows her brow. </p><p>“It’s my friend ma, I have to go,” he replies quickly kissing her cheek, knowing she would get upset if he didn’t. </p><p>“It's that Tozier boy isn’t it? You know how I feel about him.”</p><p>Richie is still honking being the obnoxious person he is. </p><p>“I need to go or I’ll be late, bye ma,” he dismisses ignoring her question and walking out the door. </p><p>He stomps down the path leading to the sidewalk glare on his face, when he reaches Richie’s car he pulls the car door open getting in. “Do you want my entire neighborhood to hate me asshole,” he huffs. </p><p>“Well good morning to you too sunshine,” Richie says brightly, shit-eating grin covering his features. </p><p>“You are so annoying,” he glares. </p><p>“Come on don’t be mad it's the first day of senior year! You know how major that shit is?” </p><p>“I guess so,” he sighs out. </p><p>“And besides you were the one who was late, I was actually punctual for once in my life give me some slack Eds,” he reasons.</p><p> “Whatever, just start driving before we’re actually late to school.”</p><p>“As you wish princess,” Richie smiles, putting the car into drive and stepping on the gas. </p><p>The drive was a pretty short one, but Richie still reaches over to turn up the music on the radio. Eddie’s eyes follow Richie’s movements until he was looking at what he was wearing. He has on some red plaid pants paired with his normal Doc Martens. He paired them with a baggy black old “The Cure” shirt, and a chain dangling from his neck along with his nose piercing and earrings in. Eddie was disappointed to see he went with his contacts today. His hair was messy but intentionally so, his streaks of bright red hair sticking out. He looks really good, and Eddie couldn’t help but think everyone else was going to think that too when he walked through the hallways. </p><p>Richie knew a lot of people, he shouldn’t even be considered a part of the ‘Losers Club,’ because the majority of the school liked him. He made people laugh, and people found him ‘so cool’ for being from California. Also, Eddie had overheard many girls giggle over how ‘hot and funny’ he was. Richie could’ve easily been a part of the “popular kids,” but he chose to stick with them. </p><p>Thinking about it, the majority of the losers weren’t even really ‘Losers’ anymore. Bill was the captain of the baseball team, and all the girls thought he was attractive, which is true Bill was very good looking. Surprisingly not that many people had a problem with Stan and Bill’s relationship, obviously there were some homophobic assholes like Henry Bowers, but nobody liked him anyways. People would come up to them in the halls or after Bill’s games squealing things like, “OMG you guys are so cute!” or “Yasss!” Which was extremely annoying, and Eddie knows they probably watched <em>RuPaul's Drag Race</em> or <em>Queer Eye</em> and thought they knew everything about gay culture. They probably also wanted a “gay best friend” who could critique their outfits and tell them sassy remarks like seen in rom coms. Eddie had gotten approached by girls with that exact motive too many times to count. </p><p>Mike was on the football team, and was really good at what he did. When Mike joined the team Derry High’s losing streak was transformed into a winning one, carrying them all the way to the playoffs last year. Mike was praised for this, and the jocks from the team always tried to get him to sit with them at lunch. He always refused though, much rather sitting with his friends. Mike was the most loyal person Eddie knew, he would never turn his back on those that were always there for him. He remembers Mike talking to him once about how he always felt left out being one of the few black people in the very white town of Derry, Maine. People weren’t openly racist towards him, but they weren’t openly anti-racist, so it was strange for Mike to all of sudden be accepted only after it was convenient for everybody else. </p><p> Bev had become a sort of ‘plug’ for the people of the school. They would come to her for weed when there was a party happening that weekend, and she would always oblige, happy to make some extra money. Eddie had lectured her on it a few times, but Bev said she was always careful, and she had her “ways” of not getting caught. But, it still gave her the reputation of a ‘badass’ around school. </p><p>Him, Ben, and Stan were the least known out of all of them. They were mostly known through their relationship with the other people in the group. But, they were all perfectly content with that. They all preferred to go more unnoticed. But, they all had their own things, Ben was the president of the poetry club at school. Stan joined dance sophomore year, and had made quite a few friends through that. And Eddie did track, which gained him some recognition. </p><p>When Eddie finished his thoughts they were pulling into the school parking lot. He saw his other five friends leaning up against Mike’s truck as Richie pulled into the spot next to it. Eddie got out of the passenger side walking over to them, Richie close behind him. </p><p>“Hey fuckers,” Richie greets. </p><p>“Finally you two arrived, we have five minutes until we have to get to class,” Stan responds. </p><p>“Wow what is it with today about being in a mood, I have been greeted with nothing but snarkiness this fine morning?” Richie exclaims. </p><p>“Good morning Richie!” Mike says in an upbeat tone from where his arm was on Stan’s shoulder. </p><p>“See that's more like it, thank you very much you beautiful specimen!” Richie says back just as enthusiastically. Bev and Bill giggle strangely, Eddie squints his eyes inspecting them further. </p><p>“Oh my fucking god, are you two really high? It’s 8:00 in the morning for fucks sake,” Eddie scolds. </p><p>“Yep, we went over to Bev’s early this morning because Ben was going to drive us. And they just decided they were going to get high for the first day of school, being dumbasses might I add,” Stan explains with a roll of the eyes. </p><p>“Um why exactly was I not invited to this?” Richie spoke up. </p><p>“It wasn’t planned, and hey it was for first day jitters right Bill?” Bev defends. </p><p>“Yep, it was just a few hits, we’ll be fine,” Bill scoffs. </p><p>“Still dumbasses,” Stan grumbles next to him,  Bill kisses his cheek making his facade break slightly. </p><p>His friends then break into a conversation, and Eddie looks around at them. Mike who was still leaning against Stan looked amazing obviously. He loved color so he looked particularly vibrant with some light purple pants, paired with a flimsy white button-down shirt that had some of the buttons undone showing most of his chest. His green hair is still bright, and his smile is just as lively. </p><p>Stan looked simple but good with a white shirt on paired with belted light-wash jeans, an over sized light blue cardigan slipping off of one of his shoulders due to his small frame. Eddie thinks it may be Bill’s. Bill’s got on his usual black beanie, blue hair peeking out, he has on his baggy black jeans along with an equally loose-fitting black shirt with a strange design on it, and a blue-colored flannel. </p><p>Bev is standing a few feet away from Bill hand holding onto Ben’s. She has on fishnets tucked into her worn combat boots, along with a pleated plaid skirt and black tank top. Eddie thinks Richie and her matched on purpose. Ben is
 smiling contently watching all his friends, wearing cuffed blue jeans paired with a striped forest green crew neck, worn down white vans of his feet. His lilac hair looked tousled and adorable. </p><p>Stan then spoke up telling them they should get to class, so all seven of them walk together through the doors of the school. People were lounging around the lockers, probably catching up from the summer. </p><p>Eddie averts his eyes, but from his peripheral he could see people looking at them. He understood it was probably due to the very vibrant hair colors most of them were sporting. Derry High really wasn’t a school known for its diversity, most of the people looked the same so he got why they examined anyone different-looking. </p><p>Then people began greeting some of them, the other football players calling out to Mike, and the same with Bill’s team. He scowls more than he should at Sandy Moore complimenting Richie with a, “I like your hair Richie, it really looks good on you,” batting her eyes. Richie just sends her a charming smile, making her giggle. He feels like he wants to gag. </p><p>Eddie just hurries his step, getting to his first class as fast as he can. He grabs Stan’s arm on the way who looked bored anyway from his place next to Bill, who was chatting it up with one of his teammates. They had their first period together, which was something Eddie was grateful for. </p><p>They reached the classroom when Stan asked, “What was the rush Eddie?” </p><p>“Nothing just wanted to make sure we got to sit by each other,” he partially lied. </p><p>---</p><p>It was the passing period before his last class of the day and Eddie had to stop by his locker to get a book for his next period. He opens it grabbing what he needs, and slams it shut turning on his heel only to see a boy standing there. </p><p>“Hi, your name’s Eddie right?” The boy asks. </p><p>“Um yeah that’s me,” Eddie responds hesitantly. He’s very confused as to why this boy is talking to him. </p><p>“My name’s Jake,” he offers. He looks vaguely familiar, he has brown hair and green eyes, and an attractive smile on his lips. Eddie just nods not really sure what to do in this situation. </p><p>“Look you probably don’t really know me, but I’ve seen you around since last year and I’ve always wanted to get to know you. By the way I like the new hair. It’s uh- it looks really good on you,” he explains sheepishly, hands reaching to rub the back of his head, faint blush on his cheeks. </p><p>“Oh,” Eddie says blush spreading across his cheeks as well. “Uh thank you,” he says, averting his eyes. </p><p>“Of course,” he nods and pauses for a second. </p><p>“Look Eddie, I was wondering-” Jake starts but is interrupted by a lanky arm being thrown around Eddie’s shoulders. He jumps a little looking to see who it is. It’s Richie unsurprisingly, he has an easy smile on his lips, but his eyes display a completely different emotion. </p><p>“Hiya Eds, and whoever you are,” he greets, tone changing slightly when addressing Jake. </p><p>“It's Jake,” the boy speaks with a tone bordering irritation. </p><p>“Well hi there Jake. Anyways,  Eds we should probably get to class I heard Ms. Ackerman is uptight as fuck,” Richie says completely dismissing Jake. Why was he being like that? </p><p>Eddie purses his lips. He debates scolding Richie for being rude, but he was right after all, and he wasn’t too sure he wanted to know what Jake was going to ask. The encounter was something he was not used to at all. </p><p>“Yeah okay, he’s right we should be going. It was nice meeting you though Jake,” Eddie politely says starting to walk away. </p><p>“Yeah bye Jake,” Richie calls too, eyes narrowing a little, following closely behind Eddie. </p><p>He definitely was going to ask him about that later. </p><p>--- </p><p>It was later that night. Eddie was sitting on his bed already changed into his sleep wear. He had music pouring out of his Bluetooth speaker softly, and he was currently painting his nails a light blue color. He was bored and painting his nails was something he frequently did. He wasn’t sure why exactly, he thought of it as a way of expressing himself and it made his hands look more attractive. </p><p>A knock then sounds at his window. Eddie knows who it is before he even looks in the direction. He gets up from his spot on his bed, and walks over to the window seeing a grinning Richie sitting on the tree right outside his window. He sighs and opens the window, walking back to his bed. </p><p>“Hey Eds,” Richie greets, pulling off his shoes and jacket. </p><p>“Hi Rich,” he responds passively, returning to focusing on his nails. </p><p>“You’re painting your nails again, what color this time?” Richie asks flopping down across from him on his bed. </p><p>“Look,” he responds holding his hand up, “It’s pretty isn’t it?” </p><p>“Yeah I like it, I liked the yellow more though,” Richie says.</p><p>“And why is that?” Eddie rolls his eyes with an easy smile on his lips, finishing up on his last finger. </p><p>“Because it suits you, like I said you’re my sunflower.”</p><p>“Ugh you were serious about that?” he groans out, closing the nail polish and setting it on the bedside table. </p><p>“Yes, when am I ever not serious Spaghetti?” he says with a shit eating grin. </p><p>“Shut up.” </p><p>The room is enveloped in silence for a short minute, music flowing out of the speaker still. </p><p>“Are you spending the night?” Eddie asks gently looking him in the eye. Richie physically deflates a little, looking down with a troubled look on his face. Richie had been spending the night at his house a lot more recently. From what Eddie could gather, things weren’t exactly the best in his home as of current. His parents had started fighting a lot. He didn’t know much because Richie rarely ever opened up, but he knows his family had a rough past. Especially during Richie’s childhood years, things had got better though and they left California to get away from the bad memories, and came to Derry. But, things were getting bad again, and from the amount Richie was at Eddie’s and sometimes Bill’s, he could tell it was just getting worse. </p><p>“Yeah, I think I am if that’s okay with you?” he finally says hesitantly. </p><p>“You know it’s always okay,” he smiles softly, grasping his hand reassuringly. Richie then looks up meeting his eyes with a tiny smile. </p><p>“You wanna talk about it?” </p><p>Richie just shakes his head in response, which Eddie just smiles comfortingly again. Eddie sees him trying to shake off his upset mood, faking a grin. It makes him sad that Richie thinks he always has to be a certain way, hiding how he truly felt from him. </p><p>“You think you could paint my nails Eds?” </p><p>“Really you’ve never wanted me to before?” Eddie responds, deciding to move on from the topic because Richie wants to. </p><p>“Well this year I’m trying new things. Also I think it could look really fucking cool.”</p><p>“Sure, I’m guessing you want black,” he replies going over to where he stores his nail polish. </p><p>“Of course, I want to be a wannabe goth,” Richie snickers. </p><p>“You could never be a goth, you’re too much of a dork for that,” Eddie counters, finding the dark polish and grabbing it, then going over to where he was sitting before. </p><p>“You love it though,” he smirks. “Shut up and give me your hand,” he snaps back, Richie holds his hand up flexing his fingers apart.</p><p>Eddie grabs his hand, a slight blush starting to dust over his freckled cheeks at the size difference of their hands. He wasn’t exactly proud of the amount he thought about them. Richie’s hands in his eyes were sculpted by the Gods themselves, they were <em>huge</em>, fingers long and slender, his nails rounding off nicely giving it a nice ovular shape. They were surprisingly clean, no dirt under the nails, cuticles neat, he briefly wondered asking him if he did nail care daily. But didn’t because of course not it’s Richie for fucks sake. He tries to suppress the gulp he has in his throat, seeing the prominent veins leading up to the hand. <em>Fuck he is such a loser, this was definitely weird</em>. </p><p>He quickly shakes away the thoughts, uncapping the bottle to start. He meticulously starts brushing the black onto his pinky nail. He pokes his tongue out in concentration as he continues to the next nail. He only looks up when he hears the click of a phone camera, seeing Richie taking a picture of him grinning mischievously.</p><p>“Why did you do that, you asshole?”</p><p>“You look cute when you’re concentrating Eds, I just had to take a picture.” </p><p>“Don’t call me that,” he responds not really sure what to say to that, he always got flustered when Richie called him cute no matter how many times he did it. </p><p>“I’ve been calling you that all day and you haven’t said shit,” he points out. “Well I was being more lenient, which I should obviously stop doing.”</p><p>Richie just laughs. Eddie rolls his eyes, small smile playing at his lips. Silence fills the space once again as Eddie focuses on finishing the rest of the hand. He then remembers his whole encounter with Jake earlier today and more importantly how Richie was acting. He was being so passive aggressive and even rude, and don’t get him wrong Richie was an asshole but not mean, he was usually pretty friendly to people. He wasn’t sure if he should ask about it, but he was curious so fuck it. </p><p>“Why were you acting like that today? With Jake,” he asks tentatively but tries to keep his tone casual. </p><p>“What do you mean, I wasn’t acting any way?”</p><p>Eddie looks back up at him with an unimpressed stare, “Oh shut up, you were so acting weird.” </p><p>“How exactly?” </p><p>“I don’t know you were just acting...different and definitely not normal. Like you didn’t like him or something,” he explains trying to find the right words. </p><p>“I don’t know Eds, I don’t dislike him I don’t even know him. But, I was just watching out for you I guess, I mean he was totally hitting on you.” Eddie gapes at this. </p><p>“What no, he absolutely was not hitting on me there’s no way,” he sputters out. The boy was just being nice, he probably just wanted another friend. But, he supposes the boy did compliment him and seemed nervous, but that’s just being friendly. </p><p>“Yes he was Eddie, I know that look and smile from anywhere. He totally wanted to get into your pants,” he slightly teases. Eddie then reaches over to punch his shoulder, his face reddening in embarrassment. </p><p>“No he wasn’t Richie,” he retorts. “Boys don’t...look at me that way. And they most definitely don’t hit on me,” he confesses quietly looking down to avoid any of his insecurity to be seen on his face.</p><p>“Now that has got to be the stupidest thing you have ever said Spaghetti. Boys absolutely look at you that way, you know how many people I’ve caught admiring you?” Eddie looks up seeing the frown on his face. </p><p>“Too many to count,” he concludes. </p><p>“Really?” </p><p>“Yes really you dork, I guess Jake is just the first to do anything about it.” </p><p>“Why do you care if Jake was hitting on me,” he asks before thinking it through. Richie is silent for a little, he can see conflict in his eyes. </p><p>“I don’t care...I guess it was just because you looked uncomfortable. Also, I don’t know I didn’t really get the best vibes from him,” he explains looking slightly exasperated. “I just want to make sure any guy that goes out with you is a good one, I know it’s your choice at the end of the day and I definitely don’t want to seem controlling or whatever the fuck. I just-I don’t want you to get hurt,” he babbles uncertainty in his tone. Eddie puts a hand on his arm smiling softly at him. </p><p>He thinks that is really sweet and caring, that he just wants to be there for him. And he definitely holds onto his words of ‘I just don’t want you to get hurt.’ It makes his heart swell up with love, and he kind of has the urge to cry. Even though he’s a little disappointed he didn’t say that he didn’t want Jake to hit on him because he liked him. Which would in Eddie’s dreams result in a love confession, and they would end the night by kissing and being boyfriends, but that was just a fantasy. Something only he could think about in his head, not anything that could ever be the reality, because that wasn’t the reason—Richie was just being a <em>good friend, </em>nothing else. </p><p>“Thank you Richie,” he says finally. It’s silent for a minute. </p><p>“Would you have gone out with him if he asked?” he whispers out looking almost scared. Eddie debates this for a little, his immediate reaction is a, “no because I’m in love you dumbass.” But, he doesn’t think he could ever say that, and the thought terrifies him. He could say a simple ‘no,’ but that would result in Richie probably asking questions he wasn’t prepared for. So, he settles with a simple. </p><p>“I don’t know, maybe.”</p><p> Richie just nods with a distant look in his eyes. </p><p>Eddie decides to move on, and grabs his hand again to finish. Many thoughts circling around in his head </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>tumblr: <a href="https://beatificallytrash.tumblr.com/">beatificallytrash</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. September.04</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Emotional angst...</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>There's a shit load of dialogue and angst in this chapter. Also, there's Richie POV. Thank you so much for the kudos and bookmarks as well &lt;3</p>
<p>Playlist: <a href="https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1UUqrvrXyIjiBKp6BGbxrh?si=ZFFhCRf1RwS3ypnRvefe8Q">Florescence</a></p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Stop moving.” </p>
<p>“It tickles though.” </p>
<p>Eddie was currently in Stan’s room. It had been a few weeks since the first day of school, and Eddie decided earlier that day to text Stan to have a sleepover. The past few weeks had been pretty hectic, the counselors had begun hounding them about starting their college applications stressing that due dates were coming up. His mom had been being especially overprotective and smothering, scared of the sicknesses that could come with school starting again. But, the thing that had been occupying Eddie’s mind the most was how Richie was being different, like there was just something slightly off about him. To anybody else they would think he was acting completely normal, but other people didn’t <em>know </em>Richie like he did. So, he decided he needed to see his best friend, someone who could take his mind off of things or even confide in. Plus, he missed the boy, him and Stan would frequently have sleepovers, it was a thing they started doing from when they were in 5th grade. They would have at least one sleepover each month, they acted as a break for each other, they were a solace for one another in the midst of chaos. </p>
<p>So, that is how Eddie found himself in Stan’s minimalist room that was set aglow by the Christmas lights he had neatly hung up around the border of his room, that had been there since they were in middle school. It made the room have a yellowish glow, and gave the room a cozy feel. He sat across from Stan, legs pulled up to his chest as Stan was sitting cross-legged on the white comforter applying blush to Eddie’s cheeks. </p>
<p>Eddie was one of the few people that knew Stan was interested in makeup. Stan had quietly confessed it to him one night under the blanket they were sharing, pressed up against one another. The next day they both went to Bev’s house to tell her, which she gushed over and insisted they go to the store to get some products. Ever since Stan would do it in private—sometimes sending pictures to Eddie, and he was Stan’s favorite person to test different looks on. </p>
<p>He had settled for a simple look for Eddie today, applying glitter to his eyes (which matched the glitter Stan had on his own cheeks) and putting on mascara, then applying a shit-ton of blush to his cheeks.</p>
<p>When he finished he pulled the brush away with a small grin on his lips. </p>
<p>“I’m finished, you look properly dolled up,” he continues to smile. He then takes out his phone and hands it to Eddie for him to look at his reflection. </p>
<p>Eddie thinks it looks nice, much less dramatic than the previous things Stan had done to him. </p>
<p>“I like it, one of your best Stanny,” he says appreciatively. </p>
<p>“Thank you, now come here I promised Bev a picture when I finished.” They then both huddle into the frame with small smiles on their faces, and Stan takes the picture. Then sends it off to the girl. </p>
<p>“You know, Richie would love your look right now,” he teases, making Eddie’s face scrunch up. </p>
<p>“Ugh please do not mention him right now,” he groans running a hand through his hair. </p>
<p>“What happened? You usually like venting about Trashmouth at our sleepovers,” he questions settling back across from him looking concerned. </p>
<p>Eddie meets his eyes for a brief second before sighing out, “He’s just being really weird right now.” </p>
<p>“How do you mean?” he asks, tilting his head to the side slightly. Eddie silently appreciates that he has someone who doesn’t get irritated with his frequent talking about the boy, if it were him he would be annoyed with himself. </p>
<p>“It’s just ever since school started, he’s just been acting...off. I don’t know how to explain it, but it's like he’s holding back or something. And it's only with me I think. I mean there was this whole thing on the first day with this other boy, but I really don’t see how it is such a big deal. I’m just- I’m confused,” he exasperates throwing his head against Stan’s shoulder, seeking <em>something.</em></p>
<p>Stan gently reaches to rub his back comfortingly. “What happened with the other boy?”</p>
<p>“Well, the first day of school this boy named Jake came up to me and started talking to me until Richie interrupted. He acted strange when it happened and then when I asked him about it he said that the boy was hitting on me. Which is like crazy right? But yeah, and then he just said that he didn’t want me to get hurt, which was like really endearing. But, I thought that he would be fine after that but he’s being so fucking weird still, and I have no idea why,” he rambles on, more expressing his feelings then correctly articulating them. </p>
<p>Stan then lets out a sharp laugh, making Eddie snap his head up and glare at his friend. </p>
<p>“What’s so fucking funny huh?” he scowls not sure why Stan would laugh at his boy dilemma. </p>
<p>“Oh my God, you really are so fucking oblivious,” he snorts out. Eddie just frowns at him, honestly over this conversation already. </p>
<p>“He was obviously jealous, like seriously him stopping a guy from hitting on you, acting strange. He may have meant that he didn’t want anyone to hurt you, but he was definitely mostly covering up the fact that he was being a jealous idiot,” he explains chuckling still, shaking his head making his pink ringlets move. Eddie gapes at this eyes widening. </p>
<p>“No that can’t be right, how can he be jealous about someone that he doesn’t even have feelings for?” he exclaims gesturing his hands wildly. </p>
<p>“You know Eddie for such a smart person, you can be so stupid. Of course Richie likes you it is so blatantly obvious, how do you not see it!” Stan cries out, frustrated that he clearly wasn’t getting it.</p>
<p>“No, he doesn’t Stan. Look he may be—I don’t know attracted to me or whatever. But, he has made it pretty clear that he doesn't want me.” His face downturns a little. Stan’s face softens touching his arm gently. </p>
<p>“Plus, that wouldn’t explain why he’s still acting that way, I mean it’s not like I actually want anyone but him,” he mumbles out still looking down at Stan’s bird socks. </p>
<p>“Does he know that?” </p>
<p>Eddie’s brow furrows at this, trying to think of anything that happened that could imply he liked someone else. He then suddenly remembers one of the last things that he said that night. </p>
<p>“Oh shit,” he curses out quietly. </p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“That night he asked me if I would’ve said yes if Jake asked me out. And I said...maybe. I didn’t actually mean it. I just panicked and said that so he wouldn’t question me.”</p>
<p>“Well bingo, there you go. He’s just scared that he could lose you to someone else. He’s probably stressing over if you actually have feelings for him, because you said you would accept a date from another boy,” he reasons eyes wild. </p>
<p>“I didn’t mean it though! And plus Richie wouldn’t stress over me like that.”</p>
<p>“Now that is a bold-faced lie,” Stan states giving him an unimpressed look. “Look, if there’s one thing I know about Richie, it’s that he over thinks a lot, maybe even as much as you and that’s saying something. But, put yourself in his shoes if he said he would date someone else wouldn’t that be like all you could think about?” </p>
<p>“You know it would. But, you don’t understand Stan, he doesn’t want me!” Eddie insists voice raising a couple octaves. </p>
<p>“I don’t understand? You know better than anyone that I completely understand,” he defends, eyes filling with sadness for a second. </p>
<p>“Yeah I know you get it, but it's different with me and Richie,” he suddenly starts to shrink into himself, some of his most painful thoughts filling his head. He knows he should stop here, but with Stan’s eyes boring into his own, his gaze now turning curious, silently asking him to continue he can’t. </p>
<p>“I just- I make it so obvious that I am in love with him. Like I think anyone could see that, I don’t exactly do a good job at hiding it. He just has to know, he has to and he does, his actions say as much,” he whispers out, his voice becoming more hoarse the longer he talks. Stan just looks at him expectantly, rubbing his thumb against his arm in a reassuring matter. </p>
<p>“It's all the flirting, and the touching, and the way he sometimes looks at me,” he gulps before continuing, “And the-the kissing,” he says so quietly he thinks Stan can barely hear him. But, he does and his eyes shoot open dramatically, inhaling a sharp breath in surprise. </p>
<p>“Kiss? You guys have kissed?” he says incredulously, voice low like it's a secret.</p>
<p>“Yeah...but it never means anything, to him at least. It always happens when he’s fucked up, and it’s not passionate or emotional, it's more of like a release of energy, I don’t know. But, the thing is after it's like he doesn’t even register it happened, he just moves on. We've never talked about it. He just completely ignores it, and just leaves me confused, and <em>hopeful </em>of what could be,” he croaks out, eyes becoming cloudy. </p>
<p>“But, that’s how I know he doesn’t  have feelings for me. He knows that I’m in love with him and I think he does all those things to— I don’t know make me feel better, make me not feel so pathetic. When in reality it's just stringing me along, and I take anything I can get. But, at the end of the day he doesn’t <em>want </em>me,” he rasps tears leaving his downcast eyes. </p>
<p>He then looks up into Stan’s sad eyes, “<em>Why doesn’t he want me Stan?” </em>he cries out barely able to utter the words, before collapsing into the boy’s chest full-on sobbing now. Stan holds him tightly, rubbing circles into his back. Eddie feels the tears escaping his eyes soaking Stan’s lavender sleep shirt. </p>
<p>He doesn’t know how much time passes. Everything seems to slow, the only sounds being heard in the room in the soft cacophony of the piano music Stan always played. And the noise of his sniffles and hiccups as he calms down. Stan’s grip hasn’t faltered once, at this time Eddie briefly acknowledges that Stan is his calm, his shelter in the midst of the storm. </p>
<p>When Eddie finally pulls away slightly, wiping his bloodshot and puffy eyes is when Stan looks into his eyes with nothing but care, and speaks. </p>
<p>“Eddie, you are absolutely wanted. Anyone would be the actual dumbest person ever to not want you, okay? You are so easy to love and I know Richie knows that too. Look, Richie is an idiot, but he’s a scared idiot, who is so in denial of his feelings, but they are absolutely there. And yeah that kissing thing is so incredibly fucked up, and I really have an urge to go punch him in the face right now for that. But, he’s confused and terrified of fucking things up. And you have every right to feel this way, and I don’t think it's bad that you love him, you just need to learn how to deal with it and you will. You always do Eddie,” he says earnestly, green eyes sincere and intense.</p>
<p>Eddie just smiles slightly, and he feels like crying again for a completely different reason. For the love he feels for his friend, so he falls forward again snuggling up to him again much softer than before.</p>
<p>“I love you, thank you Stan seriously,” he mumbles out. </p>
<p>“I love you too,” he sighs out, arm wrapping around his shoulder. They stay like that for a few seconds. </p>
<p>“Now, hate to break the moment but my shirt is fucking soaked and I think I’m going to freak if I don’t change it in like the next ten seconds.” </p>
<p>Eddie just laughs soundly, detaching himself from his companion. </p>
<p>---</p>
<p> “I am such a fucking idiot,” Richie thinks out loud, grabbing his hair in frustration. </p>
<p>“Well no shit,” Bill responds with a snort, stepping on the edge of his skateboard to kick it up so he can grab it. </p>
<p>They were in a skate park, which had become their ‘hangout spot.’ Bill and him would come here only at night, after everyone else was gone. Bill liked skating, so he would go always inviting Richie to come with him. Richie didn’t even know how to skate, but he was perfectly content to sit on the sidelines watching Bill skate around practicing new tricks under the harsh glare of the floodlights that illuminated the ground. He would usually light up a blunt, taking long drags while making comments at Bill, either ridiculing or praising something he was doing. Bill and him would sometimes banter back and forth, Bill every once in a while riding over to steal the blunt out of his hands to take a few hits. But, the pair also sometimes used the time to talk about the shit they were dealing with. Richie would usually rant about something that happened that day that bothered him, or go on about a certain short boy that made him feel all mushy inside. Bill would use the time to vent, typically about his parents or when him and Stan would get into a fight that never lasted until the next morning. </p>
<p>Tonight was no different. Bill asked Richie earlier at school, saying that Eddie and Stan were having a sleepover, so he couldn’t do his original plans for the night to sneak into the boy’s house to do god knows what. Richie had accepted of course, knowing he wouldn’t have anything better to do. He also may have had the ulterior motive to see his best friend to get some pent up stress out about no other than Eddie Kaspbrak. He had been thinking a lot about the boy recently, <em>well more than usual. </em></p>
<p>So, around 11:30 he got a text from Bill saying he was outside and to ‘get your ass out here.’ He then went to meet his friend not caring to even tell his parents, it wasn’t like they would give a fuck anyways. He knew Bill’s felt the same way when caring about their son’s location, even if it was almost midnight. </p>
<p>They were there an hour, and Richie had been itching the whole time to say something. He had to get quite a few hits into his system before he got the courage to speak up. </p>
<p>“Ha ha, yeah of course I’m a dumbass, but the reason is different this time,” he huffs out, indicating that he wasn’t being his usual joking self. </p>
<p>Bill seems to recognize this, recoiling a little, eyes softening a bit. “Does this reason happen to be an about 5’5” boy with blond hair, and often referred to as a pasta by you?” he inquires casually, taking a seat next to him on the concrete ledge.</p>
<p>Richie chuckles softly at this, closed-mouth smile appearing for a second. “Isn’t it always?”</p>
<p>“What did you do this time?” Bill sighs out, reaching over to take the blunt out of his thimble fingers. </p>
<p>Richie just looks ahead for a little, suddenly very interested in the curvatures of the skating ground, he partially sees the cloud of smoke billowing out of Bill’s mouth in his peripheral, and his senses are briefly over taken by the familiar pungent earthy smell. He takes a leveled breath, Bill waits patiently as ever. </p>
<p>“I’ve been being an asshole. He- uh there was this boy that was flirting with him a few weeks ago. And I got mad, or I guess fucking jealous or whatever. But, it was hard for me not to, I mean he was looking at Eddie like he was some type of fucking pretty possession. Like he just wanted to swoop him up and show him off. I really didn’t like that shit, and Eddie looked so completely lost and uncomfortable. So, I interfered, and I thought I was acting as okay as I could, but of course Eddie noticed something was wrong. That little observant smartass,” he smiles slightly thinking of the boy. </p>
<p>“He asked me about it, called me out on my shit. And I came up with some bullshit response, hiding the fact that I was a jealous ass like it was a fucking sport. He seemed to drop it, but then he said some shit that is really fucking with me,” he takes another deep inhale. </p>
<p>“I couldn’t help myself, I really wish I did in retrospect. But, I asked if he would’ve gone out with that boy, and he said ‘maybe.’ Which I know isn’t that big a fucking deal, but it felt so much like a yes to me, and that is like all I can think about. Its fucking pathetic I know, but I can’t help it.” </p>
<p>He finishes and the silence fills the night air again, the only sound being heard is the flickering of the lights in the park, and crickets chirping. He looks at Bill, realizing he hadn’t been looking at him the whole time. Bill seems to be analyzing what he said, trying to find the right words.</p>
<p>“I get it. You don’t want to lose him. But, at the same time you really haven’t done anything to show Eddie how you really feel about him,” he says carefully. </p>
<p>“Yeah exactly, and that’s why I’m fucking stupid. I’m just being a stubborn dickhead too scared to show how much I really want him. When I should be shouting that shit from the fucking rooftops, but I can’t. I don’t even have the right to be acting weird and being mad at the guy, because <em>he’s not mine</em>, no matter how much I want him to be,” he chokes out, eyebrows furrow in out of exasperation. </p>
<p>“Why are you scared? Look I know rejection is fucking terrifying, it took me like half a year to confess how I felt to Stan. However, I may not be the most observant, but that boy is fucking whipped for you, anyone could see it.”</p>
<p>And yeah Richie could see that the shorter boy had some feelings for him. But, that just makes things worse and Richie really wishes he didn’t because that way it would be easier to dismiss his feelings for him. Even though that seems virtually impossible at this point. </p>
<p>“Because I would fuck it up, I always fuck up everything. He deserves better than me, I feel like I would just hold him back,” he whispers out before he can change his mind. </p>
<p>It was the truth in Richie’s mind. Eddie was the most beautiful and special being he had ever met, and he loved the boy even if he didn’t want to admit it to himself. But, he knows that if they got together he wouldn’t want to ever let go, even if things got bad for them and he found some way to fuck things up. He sees it in his parents, his dad is always finding a new way to mess up and he knows they should’ve gotten divorced a long time ago, but his dad is too selfish to let his mom go. And his mom just deals with it, would still do anything for the man because despite everything she still loves him. He sees that in Eddie, that no matter what he did he wouldn’t give up on Richie, because that’s just the type of person he is. And he loves him for that, but he doesn’t want to be like his parents. He doesn’t want to be selfish with Eddie, because Eddie deserves to bloom and grow without him. Like a sunflower, <em>his sunflower</em>. </p>
<p>“Richie I know I say this all the time, but this time I mean it more than ever when I say shut the fuck up. You are not a fuck up, and you deserve to be loved,” he says so intently and earnest that Richie has to look away from his bright blue eyes for a second, bombarded with the emotion emitting from the azure pools. </p>
<p>He makes an unconvinced and disgruntled sound in return not sure what to say. </p>
<p>“Rich I’m serious. Look I get it okay, I feel like a burden to my family, they don’t see me. I feel like a ghost in my house only getting occasional acknowledgments, but they mostly just ignore me. Like I could just d-disappear and they wouldn’t notice, or c-care. And I feel like that with Stan sometimes too, like he would be b-better off without me. But, you know what the difference is? He <em>sees </em>me and he loves me, and I see him and I love him more than anything, and that's why we work. I know you see loving someone as a bad thing, but it's not, it doesn’t have to be, and it's never wrong when two people who are supposed to be together are together. You two make each other better, you help him grow, and he does the same to you,” Bill continues in the same sincere and open tone, and Richie can still feel his eyes burning into the side of his head. Richie knows when Bill stutters it's something that hurts him, he silently is grateful the boy is able to be so vulnerable with him. </p>
<p> And Richie feels like he wants to fucking cry, because on one hand his best friend just revealed some very personal thoughts to him that make him want to comfort the boy. And punish anyone that ever made him feel like he was anything less than one of the best people anyone would have the pleasure of knowing. But, on the other hand he is so conflicted and overwhelmed with he love he feels for Eddie, that he feels like he is going to fucking combust.</p>
<p>A while passes before Richie just gives up, and slumps against the blue-haired boy, head finding his shoulder. Bill reaches around to put his arm around his back grabbing the side of his other arm bringing him closer. </p>
<p>“I just don’t want to be selfish, I don’t want my love to trap him. He already gets enough of that with his mother,” he murmurs out, Bill squeezes his arm. </p>
<p>“You won’t trap him Rich, you love him in a way that won’t allow for that. You make Eddie brave, you have since the moment you got here, and I would know I’ve known him since before we both knew how to properly write a fucking sentence. Your love will make him thrive. I know it, but it's okay for you to not yet, it takes time. But, Rich remember, no one can wait forever.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I know,” he responds dejectedly. </p>
<p>“And that’s why you are in fact a fucking idiot,” he huffs out a hint of humor in his tone, still quiet as ever. </p>
<p>“Yeah, I know.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Disclaimer: I was no way trying to play into the stereotype that gay men are more "feminine" when I wrote the scene with Stan and Eddie doing makeup. I truly just don't believe makeup has a gender and I have this hc that Stan would like it. Sorry if it comes off a certain way.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. September.23</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Beverly and Richie friendship rights!</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Just a little filler chapter :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> “You know the others are probably pissed at us right now,” Bev says airily. </p>
<p>“Then let them be mad,” Richie responds, an easy grin playing on his lips. </p>
<p>They were sat on Bev’s unmade bed, where they shouldn’t be because it was the middle of the day, and they were currently supposed to be at school. However, the two around third period both collectively decided they were itching for a cigarette and really did not want to attend their next class. So, they both snuck off campus with practiced ease after the end of their class and jumped in his car to drive to Beverly’s house. They didn’t plan on staying there the rest of the day, just until lunch was done so they could get back in time for their last class. </p>
<p>“Don’t be an asshole Trashmouth,” she says with a chuckle and a roll of the eyes, she then gets up and makes her way across her messy room, scattered with different projects she’s started most dealing with her latest clothing design. </p>
<p>“Oh please Red, at this point I’m pretty sure asshole is my middle fucking name. Or I don’t know maybe I should just tattoo it across my forehead. I think that would be a real attention-grabber, and I would look badass for sure,” he quips, gesturing his hands comically with a cigarette between his fingers. </p>
<p>“Oh yeah that would be gold, you would sure get everyone practically falling to their knees for you. Maybe a lip tat that says ‘trashmouth’ would just top it all off,” Bev replies in the same tone as Richie. She always was the one to add onto his jokes instead of everyone else’s usual response of ‘shut the fuck up.’ She was currently rummaging through one of her vanity drawers for something. </p>
<p>“I like the way you think Marsh,” Richie grins widely, throwing a wink in her direction. Bev returns the wink, before returning back to the bed with an object in her hand. </p>
<p>“Whatcha got there Bevvy?” he says with his commonly used southern accent. “It’s eyeliner, I just got the idea that you would be ten times more attractive with some on, so give me your face,” she demands, motioning him to come closer. </p>
<p>“I would love to give you my face Bev. I mean I get it, it's near perfection. But unfortunately I kind of need it for myself,” he jokes. She just gives him an overdramatic pout and says, “Aw fuck that was my number one wish. Now shut up and get over here.”</p>
<p>Richie brings his face close to her, Bev grabs his chin gently to steady his face before she starts carefully tracing the lines. Richie can’t help but think about the past. </p>
<p>Junior year was an interesting time. It was his first year in Derry and he went into the year already having six friends due to hanging out with them the summer before, after Eddie introduced them. Bev and him had hit it off right away, both sharing the same crude sense of humor and daring personality (and their mutual love for getting high). Bev was also the easiest person to talk to, she had such an easygoing aura about her, and she was one of the most supportive people he had ever met. He thinks that she is like the mother of their group, always cheering them up with little affirming kisses, and always being an available set of warm arms to fall into.</p>
<p> But, when Junior year began and the feelings they had for other people in the group grew they found comfort in each other. They would often secretly makeout, usually in between classes in the janitor closets or after school in either one's house. It was always platonic, there was no real passion behind it, they were really just doing it to get out the pent up feelings they had for the people they really liked. It of course stopped when Ben and her started dating, and Richie was perfectly fine with that as long as he still got to hang out with the red-haired girl. </p>
<p>Pretty quickly he wasn’t able to stay still, due to his desire to always be moving and doing something. There had been countless times Bill would comment that ‘he was the most ADHD person he had ever met.’ So, he decided to ask her something that he had been contemplating asking her for a while now, seeing the slight differences in her usual persona. </p>
<p>“So, what’s been going on Bev?” He asks, it would’ve been casual but the slight concern in his tone said differently, and he could tell Bev notices it from how her face scrunches up a bit. </p>
<p>“I have no idea what you are talking about,” she says dismissively, he gives her an unconvinced look in return. She is now on the second eye, and Richie can see her face slightly contort seeming to contemplate if she should reveal anything. She eventually lets out a deep breath, and takes the eyeliner away from his eye. </p>
<p>“My uh- my dad is trying to come back into my life,” she breathes out her face down-turned, pain painted in her blue eyes. Richie’s eyes widen, that’s some serious stuff, and he begins to feel bad for making her think about it. </p>
<p>“Oh shit,” he just murmurs out, not sure what to say. He silently scolds himself for that, <em>why is it that you can never shut the fuck up, but never find the right words in times of need?</em></p>
<p>“Yeah, oh shit is right. The other day he came knocking on my aunt’s door, I didn’t answer it, but I watched from the stairs. He was going on about how he needed me back in his life, and how he’s changed. Basically a bunch of bullshit. My aunt had to physically push him out the door. But I feel like that’s not the last time I’m going to see him,” she explains, voice pained and coarse. </p>
<p>Richie just puts his hand against the side of her face in a soothing manner, but hesitant in case she didn’t feel like being touched. She leans into it, closing her eyes briefly before opening them again. </p>
<p>“I really hate him Rich, I know I shouldn’t but I do,” she utters out, affliction in her eyes but she isn’t crying. </p>
<p>“You’re not a bad person for that. I can’t understand what you’re going through, I really wish I did. But, I’m here for you and I love you,” he says sincerely, he wishes more than anything in that moment that he could take away all her pain and put it on himself if it meant that she would never look the way she does right now again. He then presses a quick kiss to her forehead, trying to solidify what he just said, like a little promise. </p>
<p>She gives him a weak smile, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. “Thanks Rich, I love you too,” she says warmly. </p>
<p>“Now, can we please not pity me any longer and let me finish my flawless work. We have to get back to school soon,” she tries to make her tone sound more cheerful. Richie decides to move on because it's what she wants. </p>
<p>“Why of course we can Madam Marsh,” he responds in his posh British accent. She just rolls her eyes and continues. </p>
<p>A minute passes before she pulls away with a, “Damn Tozier you look like every Bi person’s dream right now.” She is smirking and looks very proud of herself. </p>
<p>He then gets up to look in her vanity mirror. He thinks he looks cool, like one of those people from the punk bands he would listen to. The liner suits his face and makes his eyes stand out more. He may have to make Bev do this to him more often. </p>
<p>He grins wildly turning to Bev, “I love it, you have truly outdone yourself Red,” he smirks gratefully. </p>
<p>“I know, I’m great,” she smiles back tone smug. </p>
<p>He then feels his phone buzz, he takes it out of his pocket and sees it’s Eddie in the group chat reprimanding him and Bev with a, ‘where the fuck did you two go? You realize school is still a thing right?’ </p>
<p>Bev lets out a snort from where she goes to see the message over his shoulder. Richie just smiles at the boy, he thinks it's adorable quite frankly. In response he just snaps a picture of him and Bev, and sends it to the group with a ‘your mom’s house ;)’ </p>
<p>Bev laughs from his place next to him, and grabs her own phone to reassure that they were coming back in a few. He sees a separate message from Bill pop up and he clicks on it. </p>
<p>
  <em>Billiam: I think you broke Eddie he’s been staring at that photo you sent for the past 2 minutes not saying anything just looking at it like ur a fucking god or something</em>
</p>
<p>Richie decides he will definitely be putting eyeliner on again. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. October.02</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The autumn air was brisk and chilly making Eddie pull the red sweater that he had stolen from Richie a while back closer to his skin in hopes of getting warmer. The gray bleachers felt uncomfortable and were starting to make his ass hurt. Everything was lit up due to the huge stadium lights around the football field. He could hear the shouting of the people filling the stands. The chants of the preppy cheerleaders, and the voice of his history teacher narrating what was happening through the speakers. Mike was playing obviously, and like always the losers were there to support the boy. </p><p>Eddie squinted to see Mike’s number on his jersey. He quickly spots the bold ‘7’, he’s running over to the benches to get a drink of water, the coach just called a timeout. He smiles at the number knowing that the seven of them are why he chose it, Mike always called them ‘The Lucky Seven.’ Ever since then every game Bev would paint a ‘#7’ onto all of their cheeks before the game. Today was no different and he could vaguely feel the dried paint against his skin. </p><p>Richie of course took advantage of this break to stand up on the bleachers and shout a, “MIKEY YOU LOOK FUCKING SEXY IN THAT UNIFORM. ALSO YOU GOT THIS SHIT IN THE BAG!” He’s waving his arms wildly to get his attention. Eddie groans loudly, and all the other losers either laugh or begin to give him a displeased noise. Mike’s attention is caught right away looking up to the same place in the bleachers where the losers always sit, and he tips his head back with laughter pearly teeth on full display. </p><p>He then waves at them with a smile still etched across his features. They all wave back,  Richie being a lot more zealous with his wave, still standing on the bleachers. </p><p>“I FUCKING LOVE YOU!” he shouts once again. Eddie looks past him to the many parents giving him dirty and disapproving looks, probably not too happy with Richie’s vulgar comments around their children sitting next to them. He sees Mike blow them a kiss like he always does during games before putting on his helmet and running over to his coach.</p><p>“Get down dumbass,” Stan scolds through gritted teeth like a mother. Pulling on his sleeve from where he was sitting next to him back against Bill’s legs, who looks very amused. Richie lets out a large sigh before dramatically flopping back down into a sitting position. </p><p>“Well excuse the fuck out of me for wanting to support my good friend.”</p><p>“No you just wanted to be obnoxious, like always,” Eddie responds rolling his eyes. </p><p>“Spaghetti you wound me!” he says fake hurt. </p><p>“Good.”</p><p>“Hey, for someone wearing my sweater you sure are mean to me. Yeah don’t act like I couldn’t recognize it, you sweater thief.” He gets close to his face scrunching his nose up in a teasing manner. Eddie’s cheeks warm up at this, he’s glad he can use the weather as an excuse. </p><p>“Oh god, kill me now. Not again with the flirting,” Stan groans out, making Bill snicker hiding his face in Stan’s hair. </p><p>Richie whips his head around to face Stan. “For your information Staniel, Eds and I were having a very intimate and serious conversation about his clothing stealing habits. Not flirting.”</p><p>Stan gives him an unimpressed look, lips pursed in a practiced way that says ‘I’m not believing your bullshit for a second.’ Eddie just face palms shaking his head out of annoyance. </p><p>“It was sweet Trashmouth, but most definitely obnoxious,” Bev calls out flippantly from her place two spots away from Eddie, Ben in between the two and right next to him. </p><p>“Oh great now everyone is ganging up on me!”</p><p>“Just shut the fuck up dipshit,” Eddie snaps mostly because it’s just second nature at this point. </p><p>“Yeah shut up Richie,” Stan adds on taunting him.</p><p>“Billiam please save me from them, I can't take this Trashmouth slander any longer,” he huffs out looking at Bill with a pout. Bill smiles at this letting out a hearty laugh.</p><p>“Aw you poor thing. How about you come with me to the concessions right now? Halftime just started,” the boy responds making his tone sound like a concerned adult. </p><p>“Yes! Thank you I’ll go. I’d rather be anywhere but here with these killjoys,” he says in the same dramatic tone, but there’s amusement in his eyes. He then jumps up to join Bill who had already got up and started walking down the stairs. </p><p>“You guys want anything?” Bill asks being the generous person he was. </p><p>Everyone responds with requests, except for Ben who says he’s not hungry. Beverly seems to make a face at this that looks like worry. Bill just nods and heads off towards the concessions booth with Richie yapping in his ear. </p><p>“Ben how are you not hungry, I haven’t seen you eat anything all day?” Bev questions concern etched in her voice. </p><p>“I did eat, right after school before I came to get you,” his voice wavers a bit. Eddie furrows his brow at this, knowing this isn’t true because he had been with Ben since after school, and he never ate anything. He decides against speaking up just yet. </p><p>“Okay, but even if you did. Is that all you’ve eaten today? That’s still not enough.”</p><p>“It’s fine. I’m fine.  I just didn’t get the chance to eat multiple meals today. It’s not a big deal,” Ben explains exasperation in his tone.</p><p> Stan then speaks up, he had been listening with a raised eyebrow the whole time. “Ben didn’t you go to the gym this morning? It’s really not  healthy to workout and then not eat, you need energy.”</p><p>“Yeah Ben you could literally pass out. It’s dangerous,” Eddie decides to add, concerned for the well-being of his friend. </p><p>“Yeah exactly, it’s about your health. I don’t want anything to happen to you,” Beverly remarks softly, grabbing his hand. Ben actually scoffs at this, Bev’s face contorts into an offended look, and Eddie and Stan’s eyes widen. Ben never had any type of attitude, or was dismissive in any way, so it was surprising to see him act like this. </p><p>“You guys don’t need to worry about me I swear. I’m really okay, like have you seen me look tired at all this whole day? I promise I just forgot to eat enough today,” Bev and Stan give him skeptical looks. Eddie frowns looking down at his white shoes, not sure if he really believes Ben. </p><p>Now that he was thinking more about it, he can’t really remember the last time he saw Ben eat an actual meal around him. At lunch he usually wouldn’t have anything, or would just occasionally have something small like a fruit or a part of Bev’s sandwich. Eddie knew he had been going to the gym frequently as well. Something was not adding up, and it was making him worrisome the more he thought about it. Could Ben really have a problem with eating? It was just so damaging to someone’s body. He knows Ben has had issues with his weight and still struggles with insecurities, but he thought he had got better. Ben wouldn’t do that to himself. Would he? </p><p>“Ben I-” Eddie is about to bring up that he has noticed his different eating habits, before he hears a commotion down the bleachers like people running. All of their heads shoot in the direction of the noise. </p><p>“What is going on?” Stan inquires, squinting in an attempt to see what’s happening. </p><p>“Hey, um I think your friends are fighting right now,” a girl calls out to them from a ways down the bleachers. All of their eyes collectively widen like saucers, before quickly jumping up and starting to run towards the concessions booth. Bounding down the stairs, making the metal clang and rattle loudly. </p><p>
  <em>What the fuck did she mean fighting? Like each other? No Bill and Richie would never do that. Unless they’re fighting someone else, oh shit.</em>
</p><p>The thought just makes Eddie run faster, glad for his track training. </p><p>When they all reach the area where everything is happening a large crowd has formed. Shouting and cheering being heard from most of the people. They all start to force their way through the crowd pushing bodies out of the way until they reach the center. Eddie thinks he almost has an asthma attack at what he sees, wishing that he still had the inhaler he threw away years ago to spite his mother. </p><p>Bill and Richie are definitely fighting, and it’s no other than Henry Bowers and Patrick Hockstetter. Bill is scuffling with Patrick, him managing to push Patrick against a metal gate on the side of the bleachers. He looks infuriated and Eddie can see blood coming from his lip despite their thrashing. </p><p>Richie is basically on top of Henry, punching him over and over again. He looks...scary. He doesn’t look like Richie, who he usually sees with an easy smile on his face, and his energy elated like he’s about to tell a joke. No, this Richie is the exact opposite, face hardset and emotionless, but eyes wild and so <em>angry</em>. Eddie decides he never wants to see this Richie again. </p><p>Ben is the first to spring into action, going to grab Richie, holding onto his stomach and shoulder trying to haul him off, Bev goes over to help. He quickly rushes over with Stan to get Bill, struggling to get a hold of both of his arms trying to pry him away from his grip on Patrick’s shirt. </p><p>“Bill stop. Please!” Stan cries out desperately, Eddie sees his face is panicked and fearful. Bill doesn’t relent until Stan’s voice registers in his head, and he gives Patrick one last shove against the barricade, before letting go and Patrick slumps down looking a lot worse than Bill does. Stan physically relaxes, grabbing Bill’s arm and dragging him out the crowd forcefully. </p><p>Eddie then quickly focuses his attention to Richie, who still hasn’t let up struggling against Ben’s tugging. Beverly is shouting at him to stop. He still looks so gone. Like nothing else is coming through to his brain except for beating Bower’s ass. Eddie rushes over to him without thinking, grabbing his arm that is holding Henry down. </p><p>He flinches at the look in his wild eyes, that are dark and focused. He wonders what could’ve made Richie this enraged. It almost pains Eddie to see him this way, and he becomes desperate, tugging at his arm that is unmoving and still pushing Bower’s into the concrete. </p><p>He gets close to his ear and pleads, “Richie stop, come on let him go. You got him already. I’m here!”</p><p>Eddie sees his eyes begin to return to a more normal state, and he begins to regain himself. He slowly slackens his muscles, releasing Bowers from his hold. He straightens his body up into a full standing position and backs away with their guidance. Eddie only tightens his grip on his arm starting to lead him away from where Bowers is still lying on the ground. He looks like shit, lip busted, cheek and forehead bleeding profusely, and he can already see a black eye beginning to form because of how swollen it looks. </p><p>“Don’t you ever say some shit like that about anyone I care about again. You are nothing but a pathetic fucking asshole, go suck on your own dick you fuckhead!” Richie shouts at the boy before letting Eddie lead him out of the crowd. Everyone is ‘ooing’ and laughing, while beginning to disperse. </p><p>As they escape from the chaos, Eddie looks around trying to spot Bill and Stan. He quickly spots the pair standing over by the bathrooms, Stan looks equally pissed and worried. Their faces are close, and Stan still seems to have a death-grip on the taller boy's arm. He can see him scolding Bill from here. </p><p>They begin walking over to them along the gate that is close to the field. </p><p>“Richie what the actual fuck happened? You are so fucking stupid. I can’t believe you did that, you could’ve gotten seriously injured. I’m so mad at you right now you have no idea,” he begins to rant, arm still wrapped around Richie’s. </p><p>“The asshole deserved it Eds.” </p><p>Eddie opens his mouth to respond before hearing a call of their names. </p><p>He turns to see Mike running over to them, blue helmet under his arm. </p><p>“What the fuck happened? Are you guys okay?” he questions distress in his voice. </p><p>“Richie and Bill got into a fight with Patrick and Bowers for some reason,” Bev explains, messaging her temples. </p><p>Mike’s face turns into a glower, his eyes turning serious and protective. “What did he do to you, do I need to go see them?”</p><p>“No, Mikey it’s fine Bill and I handled it. Don’t worry, go finish your game and then we’ll explain later. Plus, I got Dr.K so I’ll be patched up in no time,” he says with a teasing lilt, but serious enough so Mike knows everything is okay. Eddie scowls at him.</p><p>“You know I can’t not worry. But, if you’re sure you guys got things under control I’ll finish and come to you guys right away,” he looks uncertain. </p><p>“We got this Mike, I’ll text you,” Eddie speaks up in a sure tone, reassuring Mike. Mike just apprehensively nods before heading back to the field. </p><p>They continue their walk over to Stan and Bill again, once they get close enough he can see the two now leaning their foreheads against each other. Stan looks very upset, and Bill is holding onto his wrists. “Please don’t ever do something like that again, I was so scared,” he hears Stan utter. Bill responds with a simple ‘okay’ before kissing his head soothingly. </p><p>They pull apart when they notice the others approaching. </p><p>“Stan can we go to yours, I know you have the right supplies?” Eddie asks. </p><p>“Yeah my parents aren’t home tonight, so it should be fine.” </p><p>“Okay then let’s go, oh and boys do not think for a second you’re off the hook you will be explaining everything. And I mean everything.” </p><p>---</p><p>As soon as the group arrived at Stan’s home, Eddie rushed both of them into the bathroom telling Stan to get what they needed. He had not let go of Richie’s arm the whole way, he didn’t exactly know why, but he guessed he was a lot more shaken up by the incident than he initially thought. He couldn’t stop thinking about if something really bad happened to the boy, it made his head spin. </p><p>“Okay both of you up on the counter now,” he demands, finally releasing Richie’s arm. </p><p>“Of course Dr.K. Say will we get a lollipop if we’re extra good?” he provokes, smirk forming on his lips. At least he was acting like his usual self again, but his battered appearance was still unsettling. </p><p>“Shut the fuck up Richard, it is not the time.” </p><p>Bill laughs at this quickly taunting Richie with a, “Ooo, he called you your legal name, he’s serious.” Eddie scowls at them both, while they hop onto the bathroom counter. </p><p>Eddie then goes over to them looking at Bill first. He reaches up to tilt his head in examination. He doesn’t look too bad. His lip is busted, and there’s blood still dribbling out of the wound. There’s a cut on his eyebrow that looks pretty ghastly, the blood that was leaving the laceration has mostly dried, and he can see a bruise begin to form around the spot. He grimaces knowing that it’s most likely going to scar, but it’s not that concerning. </p><p>“Does it hurt? And is anywhere else on your body hurting?” </p><p>“No I’m fine Eddie, just need to be cleaned up and maybe pop a few Tylenol. You act like this is my first fight,” he chuckles trying to lessen Eddie’s evident worry. </p><p>“Yeah I know it isn’t. I’ve had to help you like this way too many times for my liking,” he grumbles, shaking his head in disapproval. </p><p>“Wow, who knew Big Bill was such a bad boy. No wonder Staniel has such a massive boner for you,” Richie snickers from next to them, Eddie shoots him a glare. </p><p>“Shut up Trashmouth, you haven't even been in my house five minutes and you're already talking about boners. I’m not surprised, but still disappointed,” Stan says as he enters the bathroom, supplies piled up in his arms.</p><p>“What? It’s not like I’m not telling the truth. I know you’re all hot and bothered knowing your boyfriend can beat someone’s ass. I sure know I am,” Richie continues to tease. </p><p>“Yeah right. This boy still gets scared of spiders, bad boy my ass,” Stan replies, a small smirk starting to tug at his lips as he organizes all the items on the counter. </p><p>Richie lets out a cackle, nudging Bill’s shoulders. Bill flushes, seeming to get embarrassed. </p><p>“Babe, why would you say that? And hey I could totally be a bad boy if I wanted” he whines. </p><p>“Sorry honey, but absolutely not, you’re too--well you, for that.”  Bill just huffs. </p><p>“Okay, now that that is over with, let’s clean you guys up, so I can hear your explanation. And it better be a good one,” Eddie speaks up trying to make things more serious again. </p><p>“Stan, just clean up his cuts with the alcohol and bandage up the one by his brow. He should be good after that, just give him some painkillers and he’ll be fine. Oh and Bill sorry but that cut is going to scar.”</p><p>“It’s okay, I think it will look badass,” he says with a prideful grin, he sees Stan roll his eyes at him before starting to clean the wound. </p><p>He then turns his attention back to Richie. He flinches at the sight, he had dried blood under his nose from where it was bleeding. He can see a bruise begin to form around his left eye, the purpling becoming more prominent as more time passes, the eye is smaller than the other due to the swelling. His cheek seems to be scratched slightly, a little crimson seeping out. He doesn’t look horrible necessarily, but it makes Eddie almost nauseous seeing Richie look like this, he never wants to ever see him in pain. He wishes more than anything he had gone with Richie and Bill so he could’ve stopped the impending brawl. </p><p>Eddie shakes his head momentarily pausing his thoughts, he reaches around Stan to grab an ice pack. Stan is meticulously dabbing the alcohol onto Bill’s cuts lips pursed, Bill is grimacing slightly at the sting. Stan strokes his other hand's thumb along Bill’s opposite cheek for comfort. <em>Those soft motherfuckers</em>. </p><p>He then walks up to Richie immediately crowding in his space, Richie seems to invite it, grinning stupidly and opening his legs so Eddie can slot in between them. Eddie rolls his eyes, accepting the invitation without much thought, he didn’t really have the thought capacity to blush about it right now. He goes up on his tip toes and  gently presses the ice pack to his eye, Richie flinches at the sudden temperature change and pressure. Eddie shoots him a quick sorry look, Richie just gives him a small reassuring smile. </p><p>“Hold this exactly how I am,” Eddie instructs, letting Richie’s hand brush against his to take the pack. </p><p>“Aye aye Dr.K.” </p><p>Eddie doesn’t have the energy to argue at this point, and just settles for grabbing the cotton pad and putting alcohol on it. He then returns to place in between Richie’s legs. </p><p>“You are such a fucking dumbass you know that right? And this is going to sting a little so be prepared.” He reaches up to clean to cut on his cheek. Richie takes in a quick breath, gritting his teeth. </p><p>“Yeah I know I got that from the first 50 times you said it Spaghetti.” </p><p>“Well, because it’s true. I can’t believe you would do something that stupid, like what could possibly be the reason? Like imagine if the rest of Bower’s gang was there they could’ve given you a lot more than a black eye,” his voice is tense, but it’s dripping with fright. He begins swiping away the dried blood under his nose. </p><p>“It’s fine, it was just a fight Eds. I’m fine.” His speech is a little muffled from Eddie cleaning up the blood that had fallen on his lip. </p><p>Eddie then sighs angrily, dropping his hand from his face and staring into his eyes seriously. “You know I’m getting real fucking tired of you saying that, because it’s not <em>fine</em>.” His tone comes out harsh and emotional, and it makes the bathroom fill with silence. He just holds eye contact with Richie, his face looking exasperated, but his eyes scared. Richie looks surprised, eyes softening with an emotion close to guilt. </p><p>Eddie is so wrapped up in the moment he seems to forget Stan and Bill are right next to them, before he hears Stan whisper something to Bill quietly. Bill hops off the counter, he already had his bandage on. Stan takes his hand and they quietly exit the bathroom deciding to give the two  privacy.</p><p>The staring match continues for a little longer, before Eddie lets out a heavy breath, dropping his head, suddenly fixating on the rips in Richie’s jeans. </p><p>“I just-I don’t want anything bad to happen to you.” His voice comes out weaker than he intended, exposing vulnerability. </p><p>Eddie hears him put the ice pack down. Before he can react Richie pulls him forward, making Eddie bury his head into the fabric of his red Hawaiian shirt. His arms rest on top on Eddie’s shoulders, and his chin drops down to nestle into his blond waves. </p><p>“I’m sorry.” </p><p>Eddie responds by wrapping his arms around his middle, he hears Richie hiss at the motion so he retracts quickly. </p><p>“What’s wrong?” his eyes fill with worry. </p><p>“I’m good- I just think I’m bruised on my side, it’s just sensitive.”</p><p>Eddie gnaws at  his lip at this, knowing that Richie would have to take off his shirt in order for him to ease the pain. He tries to force away the heat that is starting to climb up his neck. </p><p>“Uh-You need to take off your shirt,” he averts his gaze from Richie’s face, but he can practically feel the sly grin that makes its way onto his face.</p><p>“Oh so you want me to strip for you Eds. Sorry but I don’t do that for free.” </p><p>“Oh my god shut up, just please cooperate. I'm trying to help you.”</p><p>“I mean I guess I’ll make an exception for you just this one time for being such a cute little carebear tonight. ”</p><p>“Just do it dickwad,” his face flares up. </p><p>“Wow you’re aggressive huh? I like that, careful Ed’s before things heat up the way it did with your mom last night,” he looks way too pleased with himself,  a large grin on his face. </p><p>“Beep fucking beep Rich.” He rarely ever beeped Richie, but his comments were making him too flustered. </p><p>Richie just lets out a cackle. Making Eddie flip him off. </p><p>And then before Eddie can prepare himself he’s tugging off the material of his Hawaiian patterned cover-up, his shoulders rolling and jutting out making them appear even more broad as the fabric is shimmied off. He tosses the shirt next to him, before reaching down to pull up the bottom of his white long sleeve. His hands cross as he begins to pull the fabric up slowly trying to not touch his bruise. His body elongates as more pale skin is exposed, everything flexing in the most perfect way, until the fabric is around his arms showing off just how long his limbs are. </p><p>Eddie feels his mouth go completely dry, whole body heating up at least ten fucking degrees. He tried really hard to look away, but the action just entranced him in a way that he couldn’t. He probably looks like a horny little fuck, eyes blown out and lips slightly parted. Eddie curses his hormones, wondering why he was mostly fine when they were at the quarry, where Richie would not be wearing a shirt and have droplets of water running down his fair skin. But, at this moment it’s taking every fiber of willpower in his body to stop staring at the boy. </p><p>Eddie somehow forces himself to look away and suppress his amorous thoughts, before Richie seems to notice. He just looks at Eddie expectantly leaning back on his arms making his collar bones pop out. </p><p>He allows himself to subtly gulp, before grabbing the other ice pack Stan had brought. </p><p>“Hold the other one to your eye again.” Richie complies picking the item back up and pressing it to his eye. </p><p>Eddie then hesitantly moves in close again, softly pressing the ice pack to his bruised skin on his right side close to the ribs. He feels Richie stiffen a little, before relaxing again. </p><p>All Eddie can focus on at that moment is how close he is to his chest, his body almost all the way pressed up against his bare one. He can feel his heat radiating off his skin. For some reason Richie’s body seems to almost engulf him, Eddie suddenly feeling very small from where the boy is towering over him on the counter, legs easily fitting Eddie in between them. Like he’s nothing, like he could pick him up if he wanted. Eddie shivers at the thought. </p><p>Silence fills the quaint bathroom, Eddie is still trying to control his breathing. And he is studying the freckles on Richie’s chest like they’re constellations. He can feel Richie’s eyes on him, burning into the top of his head. He feels the taller boy reach out and take his (Richie’s) sweater in between his fingers rubbing the fabric. Eddie can’t figure out if it’s for the boy’s own comfort, or his. </p><p>“This looks cute on you.”</p><p>“Shut up.” </p><p>“Oh come on, what do I have to do for you not to be mad anymore?”</p><p>“Tell me the truth. The real reason you did it.” </p><p>Eddie looks up at him, earnest but desperate. Richie bites the inside of his cheek, looking conflicted for a little. </p><p>“Just tell me.” </p><p>“It was because of you.” </p><p>“Me?” Eddie lurches back surprised by this. </p><p>“Yeah, you. I mean mostly. Stan too. And the fact that he’s just an asshole.” </p><p>“What do you mean? How? Um I-” Eddie wasn’t sure how to react to this, he was not expecting that answer from Richie.</p><p>“Eds calm down okay,” Richie tries to soothe, grabbing onto both of his wrists dragging him closer in the process. </p><p>“Look, Bill and I were in line for concessions and Bowers and Patrick came up to us. It was their normal bullshit, and Bill and I just told them to fuck off. But then they said some really horrible shit about Stan. And I had to like hold Bill back, he was so mad. But-but then he said something about you Eddie, and I just snapped. I don’t know, it was like I wasn’t in control of my body or something. I don’t even remember it.” The whole time he’s explaining he’s rubbing circles into Eddie’s wrists. Eddie is  looking at him with an owlish expression. </p><p>“What did he say?” </p><p>“I’m not saying it Eddie, it was really bad.” </p><p>“Well if he was just making fun of me, then you shouldn’t have fought him. I have dealt with him for basically my whole life, I don’t care what he thinks Rich. I’m not worth being fought over, for you to get injur-”</p><p>“Eddie he said he would hurt you!” Richie cuts off his rambling shaking his arms slightly, looking at him intensely. Eddie is at a loss for words. </p><p>“I mean Patrick said some sexual stuff about you too along with Stan. But I- I couldn’t handle the idea of you getting hurt by them Eddie. I just- I can’t.” He shuts his eyes and drops his head, his voice is weak, he seems afraid. </p><p>Eddie feels frozen, he wasn’t sure how to react to any of this. He hates the idea of Richie doing this all for him, because that means he was the cause of him getting harmed. But, he does understand, he would do the same thing for any of the losers. But, he still doesn’t feel important enough for him to have such an impact on Richie. He begins to feel guilty for sort of liking the fact that Richie was so protective of him, that he had such an effect on him. But, he doesn’t know if that is a good or bad thing yet. </p><p>He decides that so far it’s bad, he doesn’t want to be Richie’s danger. Something that can make Richie act on impulse, and do things he’ll regret later. <em>The flame that starts a fire. </em></p><p>Eddie decides to console the boy, he looks so incredibly upset, face downturned and curls falling over his face. He reaches up sweeping the hair off his face, lifting his head in the process. Richie leans into the touch, eyes resembling that of a puppy. </p><p>“Rich, thank you for looking out for me. Really. I understand why you did it. But, don’t do it again please. No matter what they say, I’ll be fine. I don’t want to be your reason for doing stupid shit.” He smiles slightly at the taller boy, his demeanor gentle with his fingers still intertwined in his hair. Richie seems to fight this idea in his mind, before a defeated look crosses his features. </p><p>“I-okay.” </p><p>Wow, he didn’t expect him to comply so quickly. But, he’s grateful for it and then before psyching himself he reaches up to wrap his arms around Richie’s neck. Richie quickly reacts, wrapping his arms around his waist and pulling him completely against his body, lifting the boy up off his toes. <em>So, he was right about the boy being able to pick him up like nothing. There goes another detail for the fantasies.  </em> </p><p>“You know, if all I had to do was fight someone for you to be such an adorable softie. I would be picking fights with someone everyday,” he feels the boy’s grin pressed into his hair. </p><p><em>This cheesy little shit </em>Eddie can’t help but think before bursting into a fit of giggles, burying his rosy cheeks further into Richie’s neck. Richie pulls him away from his neck a little.</p><p>“Oh my fucking god, you are actually the cutest thing I have ever seen,” he is properly beaming, their faces so close and cheeks both stained pink. Eddie doesn’t even know why he’s laughing but he can’t help it, only settling down after hearing Richie’s die down and seeing the boy’s eyes full of fondness. </p><p>He becomes painfully aware of how close they are, his body still almost entirely flush against his. The bathroom fills with heavy breaths, them inhaling and exhaling the same hot air. They are so incredibly close, so close he can see every little detail of the boy’s face, down to every freckle and color in his eyes. That’s how Eddie sees them shift down to his lips. Eddie starts to feel like a magnet, being pulled towards Richie without him being able to stop. </p><p>“Are you guys almost finished beca-” Stan’s voice pierces through the air like a fucking bullet. Going straight into Eddie’s lovestruck heart, that was basically beating out of his chest from what was about to happen if Stan didn’t interrupt. He thinks that he has never hated Stan more than in that moment. </p><p>Eddie and Richie quickly break apart, Eddie’s toes touching the ground once again. Embarrassment clear on both of their scarlet cheeks. </p><p>“I’m sorry was I-uh interrupting something?”</p><p> Stan’s eyes are widened dramatically. Eddie sees a sly smile threatening to form on his lips, and he looks on the brink of laughing. </p><p>“No!” Eddie cries out, voice cracking. Stan’s eyes narrow, making full eye contact with him his eyes playful and basically screaming ‘what the fuck was that!’ </p><p>“Yeah Stan the Man, you’re good. You know if you wanted to join you could’ve just knocked.” </p><p>Eddie buries his head in his hands flustered beyond compare. </p><p>“Ew as if Trashmouth. Like I would want to get involved in whatever is going on here.”</p><p>“Nothing is going on!” Eddie retorts.</p><p>“Hmm okay Eddie whatever you say. Anyways, Mike just got here and he looks about ready to go hunt down Bower’s himself, so you better come explain yourself.” Stan then turns on his heel to exit after sending an obnoxious suggestive wink to Eddie. </p><p>There’s a few uncomfortable beats of silence before he sees Richie tugging on his Hawaiian shirt, buttoning up some of the buttons. </p><p>“Well, Spaghettio we better go before Mikey loses his shit.”<em> Of course he’s acting like it never happened,</em> Eddie thinks. 
</p><p>“Wait.” Eddie remembers, going over to the counter and grabbing a Band-aid. He easily unwraps it, and reaches up to stick the neon purple bandage to the cut on his cheek. </p><p>“Aw, always taking care of me,” he grins, the Band-aid making him look like a child. </p><p>“Whatever, asshole,” Eddie rolls his eyes. </p><p>“Thank you for your kind service Dr.K, I appreciate it greatly,” Richie says, still smiling before quickly kissing Eddie’s forehead. Then he exits the bathroom almost running calling Mike’s name out noisily. </p><p>Eddie stands in the bathroom for a few more seconds, questioning what the fuck he ever did for his life to be like this right now.</p><p>Before sighing and walking into the hallway to go meet up with his friends. </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. November.11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>It's Eddie's birthday.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Playlist:<a href="https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1UUqrvrXyIjiBKp6BGbxrh">Florescence</a></p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Happy Birthday Eddie Bear!” </p>
<p>Eddie hears his mother call out excitedly as he walks down his stairs. He wished he could say that he forgot about today, but the fact that he was finally 18 kept him up the previous night. He was happy--even relieved that he was a technical adult, now no one could really stop him from doing what he wanted. If he wanted to leave his house right now, walk past his mother and just leave. He could. Of course he wasn’t going to, but it was just the fact that he <em>could </em>if he chose to. But, he was getting ahead of himself, he hadn’t even graduated high school yet. Plus, the idea of being grown up and on his own did scare him, he didn’t necessarily feel like he was ready. </p>
<p>“Goodmorning Ma, thank you,” Eddie calls back walking into the kitchen. He sees his mother standing there, a plateful of blueberry pancakes on the table that she had always made on his  birthday since he was a child. </p>
<p>Eddie smiles gratefully before sitting down at the dining table, and picking up his fork to get the pancake onto his plate. </p>
<p>“You look...nice Eddie Bear,” his mother says in a forced tone, sitting down across from him. </p>
<p>Eddie tries to hide his smirk. He knows she didn’t actually like what he was wearing. She always tried to convince him to wear what he did when he was a kid, a basic polo with shorts or jeans. He knew she hated the light blue and pink striped sweater he had on tucked into his denim overalls, pink socks peeking out at the ankle. He was also surprised she didn’t screech at the pink color that covered his nails. But, he didn’t care he didn’t have to anymore; <em>he was 18 now. </em></p>
<p>“Thank you,” he replies, starting to eat the pancake now covered in syrup. </p>
<p>They sit in silence for a while as he eats his breakfast. It stays like that until he hears sniffling from across the table, he quickly looks up seeing his mother crying. </p>
<p>“Ma, what’s wrong?” </p>
<p>“Oh no I’m fine, it’s just you’re all grown up now Eddie Bear. It’s just making me emotional. It seems like just yesterday you were a boy depending on me for everything,” she blows her nose and begins to wipe her tears with the napkin on the table. </p>
<p>“I’m still here, you don’t have to be sad,” Eddie decides to answer trying to console her. </p>
<p>“Yes I know that, I know you wouldn’t leave me right Eddie?” she questions hopefully. “You’ve already put in your application for the college only a half-an-hour away right?” </p>
<p>“Uh...yeah I did,” Eddie responds, quickly losing his appetite. He did put in his application for the local college, but he definitely was not planning on actually going there. </p>
<p>“Good, now you can stay here with me,” she says as if it is a fact. More like he doesn’t have a choice in leaving. </p>
<p>He begins to build up his courage to confess to his mother that he didn’t want to stay. That he put in applications for multiple colleges in New York, in hopes of getting into at least one. </p>
<p>However, before he could utter out the words he feels his phone buzz in his pocket. He takes  it out seeing that it was a message from Bev that just says, ‘COME OUTSIDE!!!’ He lets out a deep breath of relief, deciding that he would tell her another time. </p>
<p>“Mom, again thank you for everything, but my friends are here so I have to go. Is it okay if I go out with them tonight?” he asks as he stands up and grabs his bag off the back of the chair. </p>
<p>“I suppose since it’s your special day you can, but be safe and call me!”</p>
<p>“Okay I will, bye Ma love you,” he says going over to give her a quick kiss on the cheek, before walking out of the front door.</p>
<p>As soon as he walks out the brisk air hits his skin, and he hears the cheers of his friends. He doesn’t even get halfway down his walkway before Bev runs up to him and almost tackles him to the ground. He lets out a surprised laugh, hugging her back. She squeezes him tightly making the two of them rock side to side. </p>
<p>She then detaches from him a little with a blinding smile on her face. “Happy fucking birthday Eddie!” And then proceeds to smack loud kisses all over his face, making his face heat up significantly from the attention. </p>
<p>“Thank you Bevvy,” he smiles back, warmed with affection. They then pull apart and he walks down the rest of his walkway seeing most of his other friends. He quickly notices Mike isn’t there, he frowns at that. </p>
<p>When he reaches them he’s met with a hug from Stan, his knit white sweater sleeves draping and engulfing his bony arms so much Eddie almost can’t feel them wrapped around him. </p>
<p>“Happy day of birth or whatever, even though there are around five million other people that share the same birthday as you,” he teases lightly. Eddie laughs at that knowing Stan could never be too optimistic. </p>
<p>As soon as he’s released from the hold, Bill swoops him up, lifting him off his feet into a bear hug. He begins horribly singing ‘happy birthday to you,’ until Eddie tells him to put him down and that it’s getting difficult for him to breathe. When his feet touch the ground again he meets Bill’s blue eyes with a grateful smile. </p>
<p>He gets a warm hug from Ben as well, him softly whispering a happy birthday into his ear. </p>
<p>Then he looks to Richie, who is strangely quiet leaning against Ben’s mini van. His arms are crossed in an unfamiliar shy manner. Eddie frowns slightly quickly remembering that he had been acting like that for over a week now. The memories of Halloween flooding back into his mind. It had become an unspoken thing, but it left a lasting imprint on the group even if they didn’t want to acknowledge it.    </p>
<p>When Richie meets his eyes he looks nervous and even demure. He doesn’t make a move and Eddie thinks he isn’t unless he knows he’s “allowed” to, which makes him feel like absolute shit. However, he decides that today he doesn’t want to deal with that, he wants <em>Richie </em>back; even if just for a day. </p>
<p>“Well don’t just stand there trashmouth. It’s my birthday, so hug me dumbass.” </p>
<p>He watches as Richie’s face splits into a goofy grin, and Eddie feels like the air is leaving his body and at the same time freshly filling his lungs. He can’t stop the smile that appears on his lips either, that seemed to be a common thing with the gangly boy standing a few feet away from him. </p>
<p>Richie then reaches out and grabs Eddie’s wrist pulling the boy into a sloppy hug, wrapping his arms around Eddie’s middle forcing the shorter boy’s arms up and around his neck. <em>Yeah this felt right, </em>Eddie thinks pressing a smile into the raven-haired boys neck.    </p>
<p>When they detached from one another he saw the familiar quirk of Richie’s lips knowing that he was about to say some form of bullshit. </p>
<p>“Happy Birthday Eddie Spaghetti. You can now legally watch porn and not feel guilty about it,” he quips. Eddie immediately shoots him a glare in return, but he’s just trying to cover up the smile threatening to creep up. </p>
<p>“And yet again you must always ruin the moment.” </p>
<p>“It’s one of the few things I’m good at, thank you very much.” His face is obnoxiously smug. </p>
<p>Eddie wants to say something snarky in return. But, Richie is acting like himself again and that alone is a birthday gift to him. He didn’t want to possibly say something that would make Richie recoil into himself hoping to almost <em>disappear </em>like he had been doing the past week. It didn’t work at all since Eddie was always hyper aware of the boy's presence at all times, and his silence had been louder than his mouth could ever be.</p>
<p>Instead he decides to address everyone, “Thank you guys, really, I’m so happy you all are here. Well except for Mike I guess.” </p>
<p>“Oh Mike really wanted to be here Eddie. He couldn’t leave the farm today, his Grandpa is ill so he said he had to do everything around there today,” Ben explains gently. </p>
<p>He knew that Mike wouldn’t miss anything like this unless absolutely not having a choice. But, he did wish he was here, he knew that smile of his would have made his day a hundred times better like it always did. </p>
<p>“But, you will see him later so don’t get sad,” Bill adds. As soon the words leave his mouth instant regret covers his features, and the rest of the losers all send him scolding glares. Looking as if they were telepathically telling him he was a huge dumbass in different variations. </p>
<p>“What’s happening later?” Eddie questions quickly eyeing them all suspiciously. </p>
<p>“Nothing. Absolutely nothing is happening. We should probably get in the car,” Bev interjects quickly. She says this whilst he sees Stan thump Bill’s head with the flick of his fingers. </p>
<p>Eddie just nods his head in an unconvinced manner. </p>
<p>“Okay then if you say so. Let's go,” he concludes still skeptical. </p>
<p>They all then jump into Ben’s van--Eddie of course getting shotgun--and start to drive to school. </p>
<p>---</p>
<p>The rest of the school day was pretty average. Not many people really knew Eddie, so he didn’t get many other birthday wishes, which he was perfectly content with.</p>
<p> Well, except for Jake in his third period that had thrown him a bunched up note that had “happy birthday eddie!” scrawled on it with a poorly drawn picture of a stick figure with a birthday hat on it. He let out a laugh quickly covering up his mouth at the little note that read, “that’s supposed to be you if you can’t tell:)” that had an arrow pointing to the messy drawing.  </p>
<p>He had looked back at the boy and smiled and waved. The boy had already been looking at him, he had a dazed look on his face, his cheeks painted pink. Eddie felt the cherry color adorning his own face. Jake had waved back shyly, smiling widely. And if he wasn’t so severely in love and enamoured with the chaos of a person Richie was, then he probably would’ve swooned at the sight. </p>
<p>He had mouthed out a, “Thank you,” which Jake just waved off, mouthing back a quick “of course.” He had neatly just folded the note up and stuck it in his pocket.</p>
<p>The only other thing that happened during the day just left him embarrassed. At lunch much to Eddie’s dismay Richie had stood up on their table and started to loudly sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to him trying to get others to join in. Eddie was absolutely mortified and covered his beet red face in his arms. He was surprised at the amount of people that did actually sing along, he supposed it was the “Trashmouth charm” Richie claimed he had. </p>
<p>When the school day ended Eddie decided that he really missed Mike. He had received a text message from him in the middle of class wishing him a happy birthday along with other sweet praises, and his apologies for not being at school. So, he asked Ben if he would give him a ride to Mike’s farm needing to see the boy. </p>
<p>When they arrive at the property he quickly jumps out thanking Ben profusely as he does. He walks up the stretch of the gravel driveway, the assortment of warm toned leaves crushing under his feet. He walks over to the barn expecting Mike to be there like he always is. As he walks through the big door he sees Mike there putting water down for one of their many dogs on the farm. </p>
<p>“Hey Mikey.” </p>
<p>Mike whips around fast immediately smiling as he sees Eddie. He returns the smile before Mike is striding over to him and swooping him up into a hug that warms his entire body in a relaxing way. </p>
<p>“Happy Birthday my favorite person!” he laughs out, he relaxes even more at the sound. </p>
<p>“I am not your favorite person, shut up,” Eddie chuckles out. </p>
<p>“Well you’re definitely one of them, so deal with it” Mike says as he gently places Eddie back down. </p>
<p>Eddie just playfully sticks out his tongue at him in retaliation. “So as happy I am that you’re here, why did you come?” Mikes asks as he reaches out to take Eddie’s arm dragging him out of the barn.</p>
<p>“I may have missed you, and I don’t know I just needed to see you at least once on my birthday,” he answers as he lets himself get led by the boy.</p>
<p> They stop when they reach the towering tree near his house. The tree looks straight out of a hallmark movie, the fall colors of the leaves looking vibrant and scattered everywhere on the ground below. He sees the worn down tire swing hanging from the tree as well, moving in small circles due to the wind. He tries not to feel too sentimental remembering the countless times they would mess around with it when they were younger, laughs of joy filling the air. <em>Things had been so simple then.</em></p>
<p>They take a seat by the tree leaning their back against it. </p>
<p>“So… you’re 18, that’s kind of crazy. How are you feeling?” Mike asks calmly. </p>
<p>“If I’m being honest I’m terrified, but also...relieved?” Mike just nods silently telling him to continue. </p>
<p>“It’s like I’ve been here my whole life and I’ve just got so used to being a kid, you know? I don’t know if I can imagine myself being an actual adult. But, I want to because I’ve always hated being treated like a child mostly due to my mom. And I guess, I just I’m a little sad because I know it’s just gonna get harder. I kind of just want to stay a teenager forever with you guys, angst and all,” he lets out a laugh at the end of his explanation, Mike chuckles as well. </p>
<p>“I wouldn’t mind staying with you forever either Eddie,” Mike says cheekily, throwing him a wink making the boy roll his eyes playfully while leaning over to lay his head on Mike’s sturdy shoulder. </p>
<p>He closes his eyes and breathes in the scent of Mike’s daffodil yellow crewneck, and immediately relaxes at the smell of flowery laundry detergent and freshly mowed grass. </p>
<p>It’s quiet for a little, <em>serene</em>, the sounds of nature filling the crisp air. </p>
<p>“I get what you mean though. About becoming an adult and leaving. It-It’s really scary.” Mike’s voice is soft but sounds almost distraught, so much so that Eddie opens his eyes looking to his friend with concern.  </p>
<p>“Mike you know you can talk to me about anything right. I know you feel you need to be strong most of the time, especially for us. But, I will never turn you away about anything you need. You deserve to get support too, like you always do for us.” </p>
<p>Mike smiles sadly at this, it almost resembling a grimace. Silence fills the air once again. </p>
<p>“I’m just really... lost. And I feel like everything is going by so fast and I’m still like ten steps behind. I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing with my life,” Mike finally croaks out, he’s looking straight ahead a pained look in his cocoa eyes. </p>
<p>Eddie wraps his arm around his placing his head back on the boy’s shoulder. “I mean that’s normal...especially for our age. And that is completely valid, you don’t need to know right away.” </p>
<p>“Is it really normal? Because I don’t know it just seems like everyone knows what they’re doing. I mean you wanna go to New York and be some amazing doctor, and Bev wants to become a fashion designer and will be excellent at it. All of you have at least something planned for your future, and I don’t have a single a fucking thing. I haven’t even applied for any colleges yet,” Mike utters outs frustration laced in his words.  </p>
<p>“Wait you haven’t applied yet?” </p>
<p>“No, I don’t even know where to start. It’s so overwhelming, and the counselors here are kinda shit,” Mike huffs out. </p>
<p>“Mike I can help you. We all can. You have really good grades and don’t even get me on your football stats. You could easily get a sports scholarship,” Eddie replies earnestly. </p>
<p>“But, the thing is Eddie I don’t even think I’ll be able to leave. My uh- my grandpa is getting old and when he-you know. I have to take care of it, there’s no one else who will. Maybe I was just bound to stay in Derry for my whole life. Maybe this is it for me.”</p>
<p>“Mikey trust me when I tell you no one was <em>meant </em>to live in this bumfuck of a town. Only very very bad people, who deserve to rot in hell. Which wouldn’t make sense since you are like the best person ever,” Eddie assures in an adamant tone. </p>
<p>Mike lets out a choked laugh. </p>
<p>“Look, your grandfather loves you and he wants you to have more than this. I’m almost positive he will want you to go to college. And if something does happen we’ll figure it out together, even if were all in different parts of the country.” </p>
<p>Eddie sees Mike’s eyes turn glossy almost as if he’s holding back tears, and before he knows it Mike has him wrapped up in his arms. Squeezing him in a thankful embrace. </p>
<p>“I really did mean it when I said you’re my favorite person,” Mike grumbles into his hair. </p>
<p>“And I really did mean it when I said you’re the best person ever.” </p>
<p>Mike releases Eddie then looking into his eyes seriously. </p>
<p>“I would really appreciate the help. I wanna try.”</p>
<p>“Of course. Always.” </p>
<p>---</p>
<p>Around an hour passed and the two friends had moved to the front porch, sitting side by side on the porch swing sipping some freshly squeezed lemonade. </p>
<p>“So...how’s Rich doing?” Mike asks gingerly trying to be subtle. Eddie tenses at it.</p>
<p>“Do you actually mean how are things between him and I?” </p>
<p>“I- Yes.” </p>
<p>“Well things have been...kind of...weird,” Eddie drawls out. </p>
<p>“Well that’s a fucking understatement. Why did we all just choose to ignore Halloween again?”</p>
<p>“Do you really want to relive that shit of a night? Because I don’t.”  But, still the memories come flooding back in. </p>
<p>--- </p>
<p>
  <em>“Eddie you need to calm down,”  Bev says sternly. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“No, he doesn’t do this,” Eddie replies gripping his phone tightly waiting for it to buzz.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>It was Halloween night and Richie was missing. The seven of them had decided on Halloween this year they would just dress up and watch scary movies all night in Bill’s basement. Obviously indulging in some candy eating and drinking/smoking throughout. They had decided to get to Bill’s at around 5:00, but it was currently around 7:30 and Eddie was worried. He knew Richie wasn’t exactly punctual, but the most he had ever been late was an hour. He also lived fairly close to Bill, so it wouldn’t make sense why he would not be here unless something happened. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“This is Richie we're talking about, he’s always late he probably just overslept or something,” Bev reasons reaching out her purple sleeved arm to touch him reassuringly. This year she chose to dress as Daphne (Ben of course being Fred). </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Yes, but never THIS late. I’m telling you something is off,” Eddie began to pace again. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“He’s not wrong,” Stan suddenly interjects, he’s standing up from the loveseat the halo atop his head tilting slightly, the glitter on his cheeks catching the light. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Richie would never come two-and-a-half hours late. Especially without a call.” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Exactly,” Eddie gestures in a matter of fact way. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“You guys need to stop worrying, I’m sure he’s fine,” Bill calls out strolling into the basement balancing a bowl of Doritos and popcorn in his arms. He’s wearing a bright red crewneck accompanied with a set of felt devil horns tucked into his messy hair.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“If you guys would just listen to me, you would understand that he’s not,” he pleads. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Stan reaches to take the bowl of popcorn from Bill’s arms and in the process makes eye contact with him giving a look of wariness. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Bill clearly notices from the slight furrow of his brow, and huffs out a sigh. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Okay. We’ll look for him. Have you tried calling him?” Bills asks pulling his phone out of his dark jeans. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“No, obviously I didn’t think of that yet,” Eddie says in a sarcastic manner with a roll of his eyes. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Bill just ignores him scrolling through his contacts and calling Richie.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I’m telling you it’s not gonna work, I’ve called him 33 time—“ he’s suddenly cut off by Bill perking up. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Rich, hey where are you?” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Eddie tries to not feel too hurt about that, and he pushes down the anger beginning to arise and take over his body. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>There’s a loud incoherent voice heard on the phone and Bill’s expression turns concerned. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Rich are you okay, what’s going on?” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>He immediately crowds closer to Bill, his anxiety and worry reaching new heights. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Confusion crosses Bill’s features  as he listens to the garbled mess of words come out of the muffled speakers. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Woah slow down, dude I need you to calm down and tell me where you are,” he slowly says in a serious voice. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>He listens intently. “Okay, okay I know where that is. Richie stay where you are. Do not move,” he orders sternly. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>As soon as he hangs up the phone the whole room bursts with questions and chaos. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Calm the fuck down,” Bill raises his voice enough to effectively shut them up. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“He’s downtown, and he’s drunk off his ass,” he explains. “And I mean it wasn’t...normal. He’s real fucked up like I could barely understand him.” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Eddie immediately starts pacing again a million worries filling his head. “I knew there was something wrong, I should’ve just found him myself,” he mumbles to himself. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I need to go right now, Mike will you come with me?” Bill inquires already heading towards the stairs. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Of course,” Mike answers running ahead of him to grab his keys. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Wait, I’m coming,” Eddie declares striding over to Bill. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Why?” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Uh you’re not emotionally stable enough right now for this.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“What the fuck is that supposed to mean? I’m fine and I’m going.” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“But you can’t—“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“And why not!”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Because he doesn’t want you there.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Eddie quickly shuts up the words just leaving his lips. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“What?” He says so weakly Bill seems to slightly grimace. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>There’s a beat of silence.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“H-he said he didn’t want to see you,” he tries in a sympathetic tone. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Oh,” is all Eddie can manage. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Bill gives him an apologetic look before directing his attention back to Mike. They then leave quickly, Stan giving Bill a rushed ‘be careful’ and kiss to the cheek. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Eddie tries to compose himself the best he can; but as he looks up to Bev, Ben, and Stan all he can see is they’re precarious expressions. He knows they can see through everything he is trying to shield. He knows they can see the defeat in his eyes as he slumps down onto the emerald green couch. But, he doesn’t care right now. He feels a bit numb. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Bev is the first one to join him. Quietly sitting down close to him; but not touching. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I’m sure he didn’t mean it, he’s drunk, he says stupid shit,” Bev reasons gently, every word laced with care. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Yeah he’s probably just embarrassed if anything,” Ben adds sitting down on the other side of Bev. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“He’s seems to be doing that a lot recently,” Stan’s voice quivers as he takes his spot on Eddie’s other side. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“What?” Eddie whispers out. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Drinking. It’s become a little excessive don’t you think?” Stan explains. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Eddie’s brow just furrows confusion and surprise overtaking his head. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“For the past month I’ve rarely seen him not under some type of influence. He usually tries to hide it, but I see through that; I just know,” his tone is grave. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Eddie just buries his head in his hands and lets out a frustrated noise. “How could have I not noticed?” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Don’t beat yourself up babe, he obviously didn’t want you to know,” Bev comforts wrapping her arms around Eddie now. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Yeah, but I wish he did. I wish he would just trust me,” he croaks out in return. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Stan carefully take ones of his hands, holding it in an easing manner. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I’m worried about him,” Stan says grimly. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Me too.” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Another word isn’t said after that, the four of them just sit in silence trying to console one another. They just wait in the mute ambiance until there is a sudden commotion upstairs; shuffling feet rushing into the house. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>They all seem to stand up in unison, using each other to pull themselves up. They begin to dash up the stairs and into the living room. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>They’re met with the site of an extremely inebriated Richie having his entire weight being held up by a struggling Bill and Mike. Eddie never thinks he’s seen him look so bad. His hair looks like it hasn’t been brushed in a few days. The dusted orange crewneck that is practically swallowing him is ratted and has various holes in it. His jeans are equally tattered and torn. He gulps at the dried blood covering his knuckles. He doesn’t look like himself. Still Eddie does not find him ugly; he never could. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Ben quickly goes over the help support him. Then Richie is finally looking up from having his head down causing his black hair to cover his face. He looks straight at him. He feels himself flinch at the sight of his dead eyes. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>His face is dirtied. Lips chapped and glasses askew. It looks as if he has been crying due to shiny tear stains on his cheeks and reddened eyes. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Eddie can’t speak or move. Just simply stares into the cold eyes.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Bill then insists for them to take him to the bathroom for when he would inevitably hurl.      </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The crapulent boy is hurried down the hall and into the bathroom. They gently release him making him sit on the ground, head near the toilet. His body immediately slumps, his head lolling to the side. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Bev goes to sit on her knees next to him, letting herself be used as support to prop him up better. She quickly takes the hair band off her wrist and starts to pull Richie’s hair into a pony tail to get his hair out of his face, and in case he needed to vomit. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Richie’s so out of it he just lets it happen. Eddie can tell just how much this is affecting her from the affliction in her eyes. It seems to be triggering some traumatic memories for her, most likely dealing with her dad. He sees her gulp to subside her emotions. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“It’s gonna be okay Rich,” she whispers out voice shaky, and presses a quick kiss to his head. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I’m gonna go get some stuff to clean up his hand, will someone else hold him please?” she then says trying to maintain her composure. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I’ll do it,” Stan offers quickly going over to switch positions with Bev. Richie slumps against him  just like he did with her. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Bev rushes out of the bathroom, Eddie thinks she’s about to start crying. Ben silently follows her knowing how much this is upsetting her as well. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Eddie then somehow musters up enough courage to move from his spot next to the door to kneel in front of Richie. But, he doesn’t say anything just yet.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Richie actually perks up from this and looks up from his head dropped against Stan’s shoulder. He makes eye contact with him once again, the stare is still cold but he can see pain blossoming from his irises. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The large lump in his throat grows significantly. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I’m sorry I’m not enough Eddie,” he rasps out, every word filled with contrite and pain like he actually did something wrong. As if he was apologizing for his own existence. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>A sense of sorrow overwhelms him, and his face immediately drops. He feels like Richie just slapped him, and it appears like that too from the way the bathroom becomes completely engulfed in dead silence. He swears no one is even breathing with how quiet it is. He much would have preferred if Richie slapped him, that would have hurt colossally less than the words he just uttered. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>He doesn’t even know what to feel, but he just knows he can physically feel the tears crawl their way to his eyes until they’re welling up there.  He knows Stan is about to say something before he quickly stands up and practically sprints out of the bathroom. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>He goes to the opposite side of the hallway blindly finding the wall and pressing his hands up against it, trying to find purchase and get his emotions under control. He takes deep shaky breaths trying to stop the impending panic attack that is on the brink of happening. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>He can faintly hear movement and hushed voices emitting from the bathroom, but everything is kind of muted. The cacophony of his own brain blocking everything else out. He just couldn’t understand why Richie would feel that way. He’s always been more than enough to Eddie, he’s always been everything to him. And he’s mad at himself for allowing Richie to feel anything less than that. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>He suddenly hears a careful, “Eddie?” from behind him. He turns to see Bill standing there playing with the bottom of his crewneck. He can tell he’s trying not to exacerbate anything looking as if he thinks Eddie would spontaneously combust any second. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Are you okay, is there anything I can do to help?” He inquires in the same soft tone. Eddie knows he has dealt with many panic attacks before with Stan. The boy has always had them, but they got increasingly worse as highschool started and Bill was never not by his side calming him down. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I’m fine. That was just… a lot, “ he responds after some time as he regained control over his breath and voice. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Yeah it really was. I’m sorry that must’ve been hard to hear coming from him. It even upset me,” Bill says sincerely. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Eddie just nods his head soundly, not sure how to respond. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Look, not that it’s my business, you can tell me to fuck off and I will. But, what happened between you two?” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>His brow immediately furrows with confusion, he wasn’t aware of anything “happening” between them. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“What-What do you mean?” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Bill seems surprised he doesn’t know and seems to perplex a little before speaking. “It’s just, basically during the whole time we were driving him here he kept calling out your name and saying other gibberish along with it. It was like something bad happened between you two...like you hurt him.” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Eddie starts feeling what he felt when Richie said what he did, and he can slowly feel the world closing in once again. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“What?” he croaks out. “Are you telling me I was the reason for this?” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“No, of course not!” Bill interjects desperately. “I was just asking I didn’t know,” he assures. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Well, nothing has happened. I didn’t do anything to him I swear. I mean fuck, he hasn’t even barely spoke to me this month!” He cries out voice raising slightly. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>He starts pacing and continues, “You know what I wish that something did happen, because then I would actually know.There would be an actual reason for this and it could be solved. But,  I’m the reason for this and I don’t even know why. I hurt him and I have no fucking clue how.” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Eddie, this isn’t your fault. No matter what the reason he did this to himself. You didn’t force the alcohol down his throat.” Bill reasons. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Yeah, but I could’ve been there for him more. If I would’ve just pushed more he could’ve not felt like drinking was the solution to whatever is going on with him.” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“If I’m being honest I think that would have just made things worse. Look, Richie doesn’t...deal with things, especially emotions. He chose to be distant from you, that’s what he wanted. And I know that sounds bad, but it’s just how Richie is. It’s not about what you did or didn’t do, it’s about him and his inability to face his feelings,” Bill says earnestly.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Eddie feels his thoughts slow at this, and he recognizes the boy has a point. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Okay, but still what do I do?” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Be there for him no matter what. Just love him, he’ll believe it eventually.” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>And Eddie decides he will. Always. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The moment is interrupted by the sound of sobbing coming from the bathroom. Bill goes and opens the door Eddie following closely behind him. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The scene reveals a weeping Richie. His head is buried in Stans sheer white top. Stan just holds him still acting as support, one of his hands cradling the back of his head comfortingly. Mike is sitting on the bathtub near them and has a comforting hand on the crying boy’s back. He can’t really see Richie’s face, and he doesn’t want to. He can’t deal with that right now, he can’t see him in pain any longer.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Stan looks up to them and meets Eddie’s eyes seeming to read his thoughts. He then silently makes eye contact with Mike and motions with his eyes to Eddie. Mike seems to understand right away and gets up to walk over to Eddie and softly take his arm. 
</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Come on, you shouldn’t see this,” he whispers out. And Eddie just lets himself be moved out of the bathroom, eyes still transfixed on the whimpering boy. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>As they exit he sees Bill go sit close to Stan and begins to console both. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Eddie doesn’t really remember much of the rest of the night. Everything was so blurred in his head he couldn’t tell what was true or not. He just spent it cuddled up in Mike’s arms on the sofa, while the others helped Richie in the background. He felt guilty about not helping, but he wouldn’t have been able to do much as long as RIchie was in pain.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> When he had woke up the next morning, Richie was already gone. </em>
</p>
<p>---</p>
<p>“Eddie we don’t have to talk about it if it’s too hard for you,” Mike says bringing him back to the present.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry it’s fine, I just think we need to move on from that. It was a fucked up night, but I’m not gonna let it change anything,” Eddie says. </p>
<p>“If that’s how you feel about it then I’ll go along with it,” Mike sighs out in return giving him a small smile.</p>
<p>“But, there is one thing. What happened in the bathroom when I wasn’t there, why did he start crying?” Eddie decides to ask. </p>
<p>“I-uh, I don’t think I should tell you that. It’s not my place or feelings.” </p>
<p>Eddie thinks that fair, “Okay I understand.” </p>
<p>He then hears Mike’s phone chime, he quickly picks it up looking at the notification. A large smile covers his features. He then grabs his arm and practically snatches him off the porch swing. </p>
<p>“Come on I need to show you something.” </p>
<p>Eddie becomes extremely confused but still follows. </p>
<p>“What is this about?” he asks as they trudge down Mike’s gravel driveway. </p>
<p>“You really thought we wouldn’t surprise you at least once on your birthday?” he laughs as Ben’s van comes in view. </p>
<p>All the losers are lined up outside the vehicle with birthday hats atop their heads, looking ridiculous Eddie might add. </p>
<p>“SURPRISE!” They all say in somewhat unison, and Richie makes a noise with the party blower in his hand. </p>
<p>Eddie lets out a laugh of joy, happiness filling from within. </p>
<p>“I hate you guys,” he says in such a fond tone everyone knows he actually means ‘love.’ </p>
<p>“Well we’ll see about that after you see what we have planned for tonight, lets get in the car birthday boy,” Bev teases excitedly. </p>
<p>RIchie walks over to him with another birthday hat, Eddie lets him fasten it to his head. </p>
<p>“Happy Birthday again Eds,” Richie says softly with a smile reserved just for him. </p>
<p>To Eddie this feels like <em>hope. </em></p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hope you enjoyed. Comment and leave kudos if you like:)</p><p>You can come talk to me on tumblr @beatificallytrash</p></blockquote></div></div>
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